my scarred mate

Chapter 48- On The Edge

That's a promising title don't you think?!?! Hope you enjoy this chapter!!

Chapter 48

Forest's POV

Again I found myself standing on the edge of the cliff, staring into the abyss beneath me.

I don't know how I got here.

One minute, I was falling asleep on the sofa, I wouldn't return to my room. I couldn't. I couldn't see her clothes hanging in the wardrobe, her book on the bedside table, her homework on the desk, knowing she would never return. So I slept on the sofa, and yet this morning, like so many others, I woke up on the edge of the cliff.

My wolf was tired, tired of being alone.

I was tired too, but I promised her I would live, so I would.

My wolf on the other hand, only saw things in muted colours.

He saw that my mate was gone, he was lonely, tired, he just wanted his mate back.

If his mate couldn't be alive with him, he'd join her in death.

I knew I couldn't give in, but as days turned to weeks and months, my resolve started to crumble.

I couldn't live without her.

I continued to stare out into the abyss, but I wasn't ready to jump, not yet.

Not yet.

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My mum came up for me today.

The first time, when Ash had found me on one of his runs, they were horrified. They thought I had lost my mind, given into the darkness.

Now they were used to it.

Every day one of them came to collect me, take me home.

I was greeted with a tired smile and a hug. "I know you want to join her, but the pack needs you." I nodded, I knew that, I just wanted my mate with me as well as the pack, "I'm sorry."

I looked at her, I was confused, "What are you sorry about?"

Tears slowly tricked down her cheek, "I'm sorry we couldn't save her, I'm sorry you are having to go through this, I'm sorry."

I pulled her into a hug before we silently walked down the path home.

I felt like I was failing Ari, I promised her I'd live, but right now, all I was doing was surviving, not living.

I had failed her.

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I sat in the kitchen, a pile of untouched pancakes in front of me. I didn't want to eat. I wasn't hungry.

I had to be strong.

My parents, my family and friends had already lost Aria, I need to be strong so they don't lose me too.

I have to be strong.

I slowly made my way through the pancakes, they tasted like cardboard, but I ate them, smiling at those who looked at me in concern, not showing the pain I felt on the inside.

Not showing the pain.

I had managed to stay out of most pack duties, such as public appearances, for weeks, under the pretences I was still recovering, but they were starting to get suspicious, questioning why I was still recovering.

So, I had to turn up to the weekly pack meal.

The pack meal, where we all sat down like a big happy family and ate together.