My Melody || Jungkook BTS✔️

27. FAR AWAY

JOY'S POV

Memories. That's all what I 've left from Jungkook. Because the mind replays what the heart can't delete.

Like a powerful storm he came in my life and turned everything upside down, brought the colors in my dull life and painted it with rainbows.

How can I let you go when all the time you are engraved in me?
Your touch, your smell, your smile and your shiny eyes, everything of you is a part of me. How can I let you go Jungkook when you got my heart?
I am just a lifeless body now, a robot just existing.

It hurts so much having you in my mind but not in my arms. You will be my first and last love Jungkook and if there is something I will never regret is giving my heart to you.

Nothing was the same now. Jungkook, the reason of my life is far away and I don't have a text in my phone saying "good morning", I don't have someone to wait me at the park, he isn't here anymore. He isn't here to wait for me after I finish classes , to grab my hand tightly and to kiss me sweetly.

Every day has been a nightmare for me. Everything reminds me of him, how empty my life is without Jungkook.

As I have done this past week , today after school  I locked myself in the bedroom and let my tears fall freely, replaying every moment we had together. 

I want so much to let you go from my heart and mind. I want to forget you.
I don't know how long I have been crying  but I felt a  burning sensation and I couldn't breathe.

I can't live like this, I am lost in this chaotic world, I don't want to be alone Jungkook...

I hate myself for being this weak and suffering  when I pushed you away.
I can't live without you.

The only place where I am yours again is in my dreams and I don't want to wake up.

For the first time in my life I am not being selfish. I won't think about the pain but just the euphoria that you gave me.

I felt suffocated in my room all the memories and the pain were killing me. I need something to distract me, even though I know it is impossible.

The loud ring of my phone brought me back from my thoughts.

"Hi Tae." Came my low voice.

"Hey Joy, how are you?"

"I am fine." One of the lies I have told so much recently.

"Stop pretending Joy and tell me what happened between you two?" Asked he in a tender tone.

"Tae you knew he would go in Seoul?"

After a moment of silence he found his voice and answered a weak yes.

"How could we have worked when he would go miles away? I was the last one to know that he would leave. It's hard for me to tell him so many lies and push him away but It's better for both."

"Jungkook was was very hurt when he came here Joy. Why didn't you tell him the truth? Why you acted like that and let him think that you played with him?"

"I didn't want to make Jungkook chose between his future and me."  I couldn't stop the tears that were blurring my sight.

"We better let go each other than be trapped in a long distance relationship where the feelings will fade with the time. It's better like this Tae." I finished hardly because it hurt so much.

"He left already Joy." That was enough to make me cry my heart out. He is gone.

Ater the phone call with Tae I left my house and decided to call Noelle, I didn't want to be alone because I miss my Kookie more.