He's My Cousin!

[Ch.42] Push and Pull

Hi, Mine! *waves*

[Ch.42] Push and Pull

// Ayanna’s Point of View

Our exchange of gazes lingered when we heard my phone’s message alert tone. It was Ella, asking us to meet them up at the pavilion.

I didn’t know how to talk to Jiro by then, or to even start a conversation with him. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang tumatakbo sa isip niya. And it was dreading. Ipinakita ko na lang sa kaniya ‘yung text ni Ella at mariin siyang tumango at sumunod sa akin.

I wanted him to speak up. I wanted him to open his mouth. I didn’t know what I wanted to hear, basta ang alam ko lang ay gusto kong magsalita siya.

But he didn’t.

Mula sa main library hanggang sa pavilion na naglalakad siya kasama ko ay hindi niya ako kinausap. Ni hindi ko nga nakitang tinapunan niya ako ng tingin. My chest felt unstable. ‘Yung hindi ko alam kung ano ang iniisip niya… it was making me feel worse.

No one dared to speak between the two of us. He didn’t even ask about it. He didn’t even inquire for more… and I can’t understand why the hell I wanted him to ask for more. Parang gusto ko biglang ipaliwanag lahat nang sinabi ko kanina. Parang kung gaano ko katipid ikinuwento ‘yun kanina ay siyang kalawak ko namang gustong ipaliwag ngayon. His silence was killing me!

Yes, I was comfortable, or at least I believe I was, to talk what had happened in the past with Jiro, but I wasn’t able to think about the possible aftermath. He was not talking to me. And I couldn’t take it that way.

Hindi ko alam kung ano ang dapat gawin o ang dapat isipin. Hindi ko rin naman siya masisi dahil siguro ay nabigla siya at dahil na rin may itinago kami sa kanilang dalawa ni Patricia. No, it wasn’t our intention to keep those things from them. Si Ella ay may plano na ring sabihin kay Pat ang totoo; Ian was cool about everything. We just didn’t have the urge to talk about it with them at first because we didn’t think it’s still important. It was all in the past, anyway. Isa pa, ayaw ko rin naman kasi na baka konting pag-uusap lang namin ay mabigyan na ng malisya. At least now, I could say we could handle it… now that I believe Ian and I have gotten back our friendship.

Nang makarating kami sa pavilion ay sinalubong nila kami ng high-five. Si Ian at Jiro naman ay nagfist bump. Ipinakilala ni Ian ‘yung mga teammate niya kay Jiro. Nakita ko pang nginisihan ako no’ng dalawa pero binaliwala ko na lang iyon. Of course, they knew my history with Ian.

Pinasadahan ko naman ng tingin si Jiro. He was kind enough to at least interact with Ian’s friends, but I could clearly see that he wasn’t on his usual self. His lips were drawn on a thin line, his eyes seemingly emotionless. I hated it that I couldn’t even have a clue on what he was thinking. Anong tumatakbo sa isip niya? Ano pa ang gusto niyang malaman? Bakit hindi siya magsalita?

“Basketball mamaya?” aya ni Ian kay Jiro. Iyon ata ang bagay na talagang pinagkasunduan nila. I hopefully watched them talk, siguro ito ang magdidivert sa kung ano man ang iniisip ni Jiro sa ibang bagay. “Kasama sila tska ‘yung iba ko pang mga teammate dati,” dugtong pa niya.