He's My Cousin!

[Ch.21] He's back, too!

[Ch. 21] He's back, too!

// Ayanna's Point of View

Sometimes we must do something wrong, something we don't want, something which is against our will, just to make things seem right... It was a decision I made. A path I decided to take. Some may not understand why I did that, but I do have a reason. I hope... I still hope that one day I'll suddenly realize that it's Ian whom I really love. Yes, I'm trying to let myself believe in that thought, but I know there's also a part in me that decided to be Ian's girl just to show Kuya Paolo that I could be happy without him. That I, too, could be happy as much as he was jubilant with Ate Abby.

May mga tanong na bumubulabog sa isipan ko. Mga tanong na hindi ko alam kung paano ko masasagot. Mga tanong na hindi ko alam kung masasagot pa. Mga tanong na hindi ko rin alam kung gugustuhin ko pang malaman ang kasagutan.

"Huyy." Nabalik ako sa ulirat ko nang bigla akong tapikin ni Ian. Nasa bahay nila kami ngayon. Ipinakilala na kasi niya ako bilang girlfriend niya. Matagal na noong huli akong nagpunta rito, nanliligaw pa lang si Ian noon pero may nararamdaman na ako para sa kanya or should I say, may nararamdaman PA ako sa kanya. "Sorry. May iniisip lang."

"Ayos lang, basta ba hindi ibang lalaki yan eh. Haha. Hindi naman diba?" Medyo naguilty ako noon, siya kasi yung kasama ko pero si Siopao na naman yung nasa isip ko. I tend think of him most of the time. Hindi ba ang unfair naman ata nun? lagi ko siyang iniisip pero ako? Kahit sandali ba naookupa ko ang isipan niya kahit malayo kami sa isa't isa? "H-ha? Syempre hindi."

"Good." He held my hand and played with my fingers then intertwining them with his. My heart was beating so fast! Let's just say, I'm starting to like Ian again. Yeah, that's the word... LIKE not love. That's quite impossible for my heart's state right now to love him. Trick captured my heart really bad or was it because he owns it eversince?

"Hija, rito ka na magdinner," aya sa akin ng mommy ni Ian. Si Tita Ynez. I really admire her, tignan mo, nagkakaproblema na sila ng daddy ni Ian, si Tito Krys, pero magkasama pa rin sila sa iisang bubong para ayusin iyong gap o kung ano mang alitan meron sila. Ako, kung nasa posisyon niya ako, matagal na siguro akong nag give-up. Masyadong mababa ang tolerance ko sa mga bagay na iyan. "Thank you po, Tita." Nagdinner ako kasama ang pamilya ni Ian. His dad was also there pero wala itong halos imik. Ang sabi lang niya pag niloko raw ako ni Ian, sa kanya raw agad ako magsumbong.

"Talaga lang dad ah? I doubt if I'll ever do that," natawa na lamang si Ian at ang mommy niya.

Si Tita Ynez naman eh gusto nang mameet ulit si mama at papa. Akala ata niya eh mamamanhikan na sila. Nakatutuwa silang tignan, kahit alam kong on the rocks yung marriage life nila, mukha pa rin silang masaya dahil magkasama pa rin sila sa kabila ng mga pinagdadaanan nila. I looked intently into Tito Krys' eyes, they looked exactly like Ian's. Those eyes... they looked like they were glistening, eyes that convey a thousand of words.

"One week from now," medyo nag-alangan pa si Tita Ynez.

"Babalik si Ian sa LA," pagpapatuloy ko. I curved my lips into a smile. Ayos lang naman sa akin eh. I knew that studying in Loyola Marymount University was a great opportunity for him, I won't hinder him in pursuing his study there anyway. Ayoko namang maging selfish, although alam kong magiging mahirap ang relasyon namin kung magkalayo kami sa isa't isa. Mahirap. Walang kasiguraduhan.

Tungkol naman kina mama at papa, hindi ko pa nasasabi sa kanila na sinagot ko na si Ian. Hindi pa kasi sila umuuwi, baka mamaya ay tawagan ko na lamang sila. Alam ko rin namang walang problema kasi boto sila pareho kay Ian. Nakatatawa na lang isipin, yung dating inaasam kong mangyari eh nung nangyari na ay nahihirapan na ako. Ngayong nasa akin na hindi ako sumaya. Hay. Masaya naman ako eh. Diba? Diba? Oo, masaya ako. I sighed.