He's My Cousin!

[Ch.56] Tell Me

Xīn Nián Kuài Lè! Happy Chinese New Year! 

[Ch.56] Tell Me

// Ayanna's Point of View

Tito Jay's gaze wavered as Paolo stepped back and stood straight, facing his father with both his fists tightly clenched. "I love that girl..." said Paolo.

"You... you can't possibly love your cousin that way! That's just infatuation, Paolo." Tito Jay's voice began to tremble. "Doon ka muna kay Lola Teresa mo hangga't hindi mo inaayos 'yang sarili mo at hindi mo tinutuwid 'yang kagaguhan mo. I'll do every thing to wake you up from that bullshit, son," he said, seemingly avoiding his son's remark a little earlier.

"Bullshit?" shouted Paolo. Nalaglag ang panga ko sa mga sumunod niyang ginawa. He was being hysterical. "You call this bullshit! You're keeping your stance even if I'm telling you I love her, that there's no one else for me but her! Why couldn't I make you say it? Why couldn't you at least..." He was shouting, kicking, yelling. I died a hundred times as I watched him broke down. I have known him to be the guy who always holds his composure, yes, he had little outbursts in the past, but it was never like this. Hindi siya nawalan ng kontrol nang ganito.

"Paolo, 'wag kang magkaganiyan dahil lang sa babae!" bulyaw ni Tito Jay sa kaniya. Napakagat ako sa labi ko upang pigilan ang paghagulgol ko.

"Don't be selfish! Isipin mo naman ang pamilya natin!" kumbinsi ni Tita Carissa sa anak.

I wanted to laugh to mock them all. Wala talaga silang kaalam-alam. They didn't have any single clue on what we had gone through. Ang tanging alam lang nila ay ang kamaliang nagawa namin. But do they know how many nights we've stayed up just thinking of the possibilities of ruining this family, of tarnishing its name? How many times we wished things were different for us? How many times we decided to supress what we feel for their sake, and the hardships we went through along the way? They didn't have any idea. At sino sila para sabihin na itigil namin ito? Na wala kaming ibang inisip bukod sa sarili namin? Na mali na mahalin namin ang isa't isa?

Gusto ko mang itanong sa kanila ang mga iyon ay hindi ko magawa. Dahil sa huli, kami pa rin ang mali. Kami pa rin ang may sala.

I wanted to stop them. Gusto kong pigilan sila at sabihin na gagawin ko na lang ang lahat ng gusto nila. Na susundin ko sila ano man ang desisyon nila para sa aming dalawa dahil ayaw ko nang makita si Paolo na nagkakagano'n. Pero hindi ko kayang gawin iyon. Hindi ko kayang iwan sa ere si Paolo. I couldn't leave him hanging after what he had done, how he fought for me. Hindi ko siya kayang talikuran.

I was about to meddle with their argument, to fight for our side too, but then Paolo stopped me. He moved me towards his back, as if protecting me.

"I'm done being so selfless for this family!" he shouted at his mother which made everyone in the room gasp. He loved his mother so much at kahit kailan ay hindi niya ito sinuway. She was his true queen and seeing him going against her was killing me. Have I done this? Ako ba ang may kasalanan kung bakit nagkakaganito ang lahat? The thought was clenching my heart.

I reached for his hand and he held me for a second and let go. Nanlumo ang puso ko. "This is more than what you think, Aya," he whispered and took steps to come nearer to his parents. Napakunot ang noo ko. What did he mean?