War can be a Son Of A Bitch

How we react

Picking up a few moments after the end of the previous episode, TUCKER and CABOOSE are running out of the base, with WASHINGTON, Alaska and CAROLINA trailing behind.

Tucker: Come on, what are y'all waiting for? We're wasting time!

Washington: Take it easy, Tucker, we have to think about this!

Tucker: What is there to think about?

Caboose: Yes, Church needs help!

Alaska: How is this even possible?! There was...nothing left of Epsilon after that last battle.

Tucker: You don't have to tell me that! I have a pretty fucking vivid memory of the whole thing! Which is entirely why the hell we need to get on this now! We owe him one! Several! A million!

Carolina: He said "Alpha"...could it be the original Church A.I.?

Tucker: Who fucking cares, it's Church! Our friend! Or my friend at least!

Carolina: HEY! Church means a lot to me too! More than I think you realize. I'm not happy about the situation either, but we have to be realistic. Any successful operation begins with intelligence.

Tucker: We've never needed intelligence before!

Washington: It's a huge galaxy, and we don't have a way to trace that message.

Tucker: Well standing around and talking ain't gonna accomplish shit! That's all we ever do and we never get anything done!

Carolina: The other factor is that we have leads on the Freelancers' side of this. Washington and I have some old friends we can check up on. While Alaska goes with you two.

Tucker: So you want to go on a fucking Freelancer adventure while Church is in trouble. GIVE ME A BREAK!

Alaska: Going after Church means tracing that signal, which is not something we can do on our own. For that, we're gonna need some help.

DYLAN and JAX are watching from a nearby hill.

Dylan: Quick, tell me another idea.

Jax: It's about a Russian cosmonaut in the '60s who crash lands near a Renaissance festival, and he gets out of his capsule and sees all these knights and princesses and then thinks he's gone back in time! It's called Cosmonight!

Dylan: Mmm...

Jax: Whoa, why the sudden interest? I thought you hated my ideas!

Dylan: I do. I do hate them. But we need to look like we're talking for a few seconds. The Reds and Blues need to trace that message and we need them to allow us to go with them. I'd rather negotiate that deal on our terms. So, let them come to us.

Jax: Smart. How about another one?

Dylan: No. No more. That last one is still lodged in my brain like a stupidity bullet. Why don't you go ahead and check on the Red Team? I'm curious about their take on all this.

Jax: (sighing) Okay...

He leaves.

We see GRIF walking into a cave. As he talks, JAX walks by and notices him.

Grif: (muttering) Stupid freakin' dead Church. Every time. Nobody stays dead. Why doesn't anybody die and stay dead?

Jax: Oh, cool! Foreshadowing.

He runs off.

SARGE is rallying his troops: DONUT, SIMMONS, and LOPEZ.

Sarge: Atten-hut! Men! Robots! Donut. Our long and terrible nightmare of peace has finally come to an end! To the East, storm clouds gather. To the West, the dogs of war are a-howling! AROOO—everybody, come on! AROOO!