War can be a Son Of A Bitch

Reunion

Fade in to reveal the Blood Gulch Crew and Emily at Carolina and Epsilon's secret hideout. Carolina's Suppressor is seen in the background. Emily is seen using her medical scanner to treat Carolina's thigh wound and Alaska hand wound.

Carolina: How bad is it?

PRESENT DAY...

Emily: Well, fortunately, he missed your femoral artery. And for you it didn't cut any artery on it

Carolina: That's good.

FOREST BASE

Emily: (stands) No sweetie, you both had a knife inside of you. That's the opposite of good.

Carolina: Call me "sweetie" again, and there'll be a knife inside of you.

Alaska: Carolina...

Emily: Oooooh, you're hostile! I'd love to psychoanalyze you. Well after you handsome. (points at Alaska)

Carolina was about to raise his rifle untill Alaska hand stop her.

Carolina: (annoyed) The leg, please!

Emily: Oh, yes. Be sure not to put any unnatural strain on those muscles. If you reopen the wound, it won't be pretty. But luckily for you handsome with rest your hand should be fine.

Carolina: Call him handsome again and a knife will be inside your...

Epsilon appears next to Carolina.

Epsilon: Great. Hey, way to go, Carolina. Taken out by an over-sized steak knife.

Carolina: Well maybe if someone had remembered to account for hidden blades...

Epsilon: Hey, I'm an A.I., not a babysitter.

Dr. Grey stands up behind them.

Emily: Sooooooooo, there's a tiny ghost man here. Anyone care to introduce me?

Caboose: Oh that's Church. Yeah, he had to leave for a while but I knew he would come back.

Tucker: Bullshit, you were totally depressed.

Caboose: Pssh, ah what?! No! No, Tucker! You're not remembering that right! No, I would not do something like that. I would not spiral downward into an emotional state of evidence and try to fill the remains with a mechanical pet just because I miss Church! Stupid Tucker.

Emily: Oh (looks at Carolina) forget you, I wanna analyze him.

Wash: Dr. Grey, this is Agent Carolina. She, Alaska and I were operatives for Project Freelancer. As for Church, he's an artificial intelligence fragment from the same organization. Codename: Epsilon. And to make a long story short, he kind of used to be leader of blue team before I showed up.

Epsilon: (appearing in front of Wash and Alaska) And tried to murder us.

Wash/Alaska: That was a misunderstanding.

Epsilon: I know, I'm just sayin', don't gloss over the good parts.

Tucker: At least he didn't abandon us.

Emily: (joyfully) Psychoanalyses for everyone!

Alaska: How positive can you be?

Donut: Oh boy, can I go first? I have got a lot of things crammed inside me!

Alaska: Really?

Sarge: Now hold up just a second. I wanna know what in the name of Benedict Arnold Palmer is going on around here! We've been tricked, we've been backstabbed and we've been quite possibly, bamboozled.