War can be a Son Of A Bitch

Divided and Multiplied

Fade in to Grif and Lopez Dos

Grif: Hey, where's Sarge?

Lopez Dos: ¿Porqué me la preguntas? Usted no habla Español.
Caption:Why are you asking me? You don't speak Spanish.

Sarge: Private Grif. I see you've returned from your reconnaisance mission unscathed. That's disappointing. Unacceptable.

Lopez Dos: Hombre... ¿Lo que es carne con este tipo con usted?
Caption:Man... What is this guy's beef with you?

Sarge: So, what information have you recovered?

Grif: Uh, that the Blues aren't up to anything and that you're a paranoid old man bordering on senility.

Sarge: Uh huh. I'll take that into consideration Private. But how about we hear from our more competent soldier?...Simmons?

Grif: He's with the Blues.

Sarge: With- the Blues?

Grif: Yeah. He seemed really eager to stay at their base for some reason.

Sarge: Huhh. Well, I suppose it was only a matter of time.

Grif: A matter of time?

Sarge: Yep. I knew this day would come.

Grif: Really? You knew Simmons would eventually wanna leave the Red Team?

Sarge: Leave Red Team? Grif, are you even paying attention?

Grif: I mean, not really, I just th- I'd-

Sarge: First they build a giant robot. Then they capture my second in command. It's just as I had predicted! The enemy has finally shown its true colours! And that colour is pound zero zero zero eff eff!

Grif: What?

Sarge: Blue! Blue! It's Red vs. Blue all over again!

Grif: No, Sarge, they didn't capture him-

Sarge: Can you believe it? Posing as our allies only to stab us in the back years after our conflict, had seemingly ended! They've pulled off the most elaborate ruse in the history of simulated military combat.

Grif: I don't-

Sarge: I mean really! How far back did they start planning this thing?

Grif: You're not listening!

Sarge: Like, did they know about all the Freelancers from the beginning?

Grif: Sarge.

Sarge: And what about Church? For years they told us he was a ghost, but then he was an ancient artifact or something and there were aliens involved I don't know. Sometimes I wonder just how deep this rabbit hole goes.

Grif: Stop.

Sarge: Or the other Agent Carolina she said she had no feelings until Alaska showed up and she huged him! Dirty lies!
It's almost like all of this is some sort of sick game!

Grif: ...This conversation is starting to get a little meta.

Sarge: You're right. You think he was in on it too?

Grif: I think you're jumping to conclusions.

Sarge: And I conclude you need to shut your mouth and move your feet!

Grif: What are you gonna do?

Sarge: We, are going to do the Reds' signature Blood Gulch manoeuver.

Grif: Huhhh, oh no.

Lopez Dos: Me hace feliz saber que está ignorando tanto como estoy por aquí.
Caption:It makes me happy knowing you're ignored just as much as I am around here.