War can be a Son Of A Bitch

Ready...Aim

Fade in to Sarge addressing the Reds

Sarge: Alright boys, we don't have much time. Let's see what we've got!

Simmons: (clears throat) Hello everyone, Private Simmons. Great to be back.

Grif: Wrap it up!

Simmons: Good to be back.

Grif:bNobody cares!

Simmons: Heuh... alright, just shut up and listen. We had a full armory on board the ship consisting of firearms as well as explosives. I have moved as many as I could down here, and also took the liberty of setting up a minefield near Red Base.

Grif: But you didn't even bury them.

Simmons: From what I could tell they're designed to rest above the ground.

Grif: Uh, with blinking red warning lights?

Simmons: Yeah it doesn't really make any sense.

Sarge: Excellent work Simmons, now go organize those firearms.

Simmons: Yes Sir!

Sarge: Grif, Doc, how are those teleportation tests going?

Doc: Well we've learned the cubes can be set to different frequencies. For example, if I throw a cube set to frequency A, it will absorb an object.

He does so to a cone

Doc: If I then throw a second cube at frequency A, that object will reappear.

He does so and the cone returns

Grif: Meanwhile, if I've got a cube set to B, I can throw it like so.

Doc: Yeah. Hey wait!

Grif throws it at some boxes next to Doc, and Doc is absorbed along with the boxes

Grif: And then throw a second cube set to B, without ever messing with the stuff sucked up by the cube set to A.

Grif throws a second cube, and the boxes reappear

Sarge: Hm. And all they do is teleport things? No explosions, no violence?

Grif: Nah.

Sarge: Well, we maybe can make them absorb grenades, and then we can throw the grenade filled cubes at the enemy!

Grif: At that point, wouldn't it just make sense to throw grenades?

Sarge: We're not here to make sense, Private - we're here to win! Now take Donut and go find a way to make your stupid cubes do something useful.

Grif: Huhh, fine.

Sarge: And finally we have the Lopezes. Stop standin' next to each other, I can never tell you two apart! One is just a head...

Lopez Dos:¿Está jodidamente serio?
Caption:Are you fucking serious?

Sarge: I need you two to get to work on repairing C.C.'s fuel tanks.

Lopez: Repara el malfuncionamiento del robot.
Caption:Repair the malfunctioning robot?

Lopez Dos: ¿El que trató de matar a todo el mundo?
Caption:The one that tried to kill everyone.

Sarge: I can't wait to see 'er. Triumphantly leading the charge on the front lines. Glistening, in the sunlight, with the blood of her fallen enemies.

Lopez Dos:¡Esa será su sangre! ¡Ella cree que todo es su enemigo idiota!
Caption:That will be your blodd! She thinks everything is her enemy, you moron!