a/n ) yall i forgot to update oops; thanks for reading uwuwuwu
"no one survived from the plane crash."
"all passengers on the plane traveling to osaka from seoul that crashed assumed dead."
"no passengers yet found from plane crash."
i shut the tv off and slam the remote on the floor, daehwi jerking his head towards me. he looked scared.
"fuck this world," i choked out. "they're not even trying." daehwi frowned and wrapped his arm around me, trying to comfort me. he was failing to do so. i was just filled with so much anger and sadness and so many other emotions to the point i don't even know what i was feeling. my mind was just flooded with thoughts, overflowing, overwhelming. i felt the tears coming back. why. why did i have to cry? i tell myself that woojin is FINE, but my mind keeps coming back to the thought that he is no longer here.
"calm down," i hear daehwi say, his voice shaky, filled with fear. i didn't mean to make him scared like this. i didn't mean to make him go through this. my arms wrapped around daehwi and i bury my face into his clothes, breathing in a faint lavender scent. even that didn't make me any calmer. all information of lavender was lowkey bullshit at this point.
"why can't they find him?" i sob. even if the question was as stupid as it sounded, i still had to ask. i was just desperate now. daehwi shook his head, sighing. he rubbed my back soothingly.
"it's hard," he says quietly, "trying to find someone in the ocean." the answer was flat obvious. it is hard to find someone in the ocean after a storm and crashing into the deep waters inside of an airplane. since he was in the airplane, i'd assumed it'd be harder to find him since he was inside and locked in, with the seatbelts and all that.
"this whole trip caused a mess," i say, laughing. or sobbing. i didn't know what was going on anymore. "a whole fucking mess. someone died, someone has emotional trauma, and someone has to go through all this shit." daehwi sighed sadly. i knew he agreed with me. he lets go of me and i pull away from him, taking a look at his face. i could see the trail that his tears left. always been a silent crier.
"go to sleep," he says looking away, not bothering to use honorifics or any sincerity. i didn't care. i held his hand for a second, and went off to my room, immediately falling down to the futon that was still unravelled and unmade. i didn't have the energy to cry anymore. all i was thinking was about how the world was so careless, and i fell asleep thinking that.
to be honest,
i felt like i lost hope.
a/n ) all i've been eating for the past 2 weeks is instant noodles. like real food + my diet who? idk her.
