a/n ) yall istg i am so sorry for not updating?? i keep forgetting i have a wattpad and then waking up in the morning like "OH CRAP I HAVENT UPDATED" and then later on in the day i forget pFFT;; anyway thank you so much for reading! ^_^ this book has 526 reads now, and i'm grateful for all of those reads~ i didn't expect a lot of people to be reading this book ; _ ;
why is it that the doctor in this hospital is the exact same as the one in my dream? he looks depressed and tired with dark circles under his eyes, and smells like smoke and cigarettes. he acts like an asshole, too. the other day he spilled his coffee all over me, and i think it was on purpose. the liquid was scalding. i didn't feel like talking that day either, so i started wailing and he walked away without saying sorry. and, woojin doesn't visit as much as i expected him to. when he does, though, he gives me bouquets of flowers or teddy bears or chocolates. i am thankful that he does visit, but i just wish he visited more often. heck, even the guy in my dream visited every day when he was allowed to. woojin has the freedom to visit, but he doesn't visit, and it makes me miss him even more every second he's not here. actually, it makes me kind of mad. why isn't he visiting? what's the reason? i might sound selfish, but i rely on him. he's the bit of the sun that brightens my day. he's the missing jigsaw puzzle piece i've been trying to find for so long. he's the one that said he'll be in my future. well, this is my future, right now, and he's not here.
woojin came in the room with a bag full of snacks and sweets from lotte. he's grinning that recognizable and adorable grin again, the one where his snaggle tooth shows, but i wasn't in the mood to think it was cute. i felt upset. i didn't want boxes of lotte's pepero with a member of exo on it. i didn't want nice smelling bouquets of roses. i didn't want anything from him that came from stores. i just wanted him to be with me, with nothing in his hands, so that he can hug me everyday. but i don't think he notices that i was slowly losing interest in the items he was giving me. i don't think he notices that i want him to be here more often and tell me stories and talk to me. woojin is just oblivious at this point. "hey, love," he says joyfully. he sounded a bit reluctant or tense. i bet he'd realized that i wasn't in the mood. woojin walks over to me, still smiling, and sits down on the chair next to me. he sets the bag of snacks on the floor and rummages through it. eventually he gets out a box of chocolate pepero with baekhyun of exo on it. "your favorite member, right?" he says. he sets it on the table and looks at me, waiting for a response. "no," i say firmly, taking the box and taking a look at baekhyun's face. "oh," he says. "sorry. i didn't know. at least i got all of the members." "well you would know if we talked more and you were here with me more often," i say through gritted teeth, still staring at baekhyun's face. "you're barely here. you never call or message me. when you are here, you only stay for a couple of minutes before saying you have to leave. why is that, woojin? you once said you'll be with me everyday in our future, but i don't think you predicted accurately. where are you? i feel like we're growing distant. even though you are here, i feel as if you're somewhere else." the silence grows tense. after a while, i look up at woojin, my vision clouded from the tears that formed while i was talking. he was frowning, but i don't think he felt what i was feeling. it was the kind of frown where you are at the point of becoming angry. "do you think i try, y/n?" he asks me in a tone he never used with me before. "of course i do. i'm just—" "do you think it's easy for me to come here?" he interrupts. "do you think that my life is picture perfect and it's a piece of cake to get here with the things i give you?" he looks over at the things he has given me sitting on a sofa at the other side of the room. "do you think that i can get everything that i want with just a snap of a finger?" at this point, woojin's voice was raised, and it scared me. the tears escaped and were rolling from my face. "don't you know what i go through? it's not easy finding money for gifts and stuffed animals and fucking flowers that are neglected. are you thankful? hell, i guess not, you don't seem to be. at least i am here in this future even if i'm not here every single day. what? do you expect me to come here with flowers every day and say hi and stay for an hour telling what's happening in my life? do you really want to hear about what's happening in my life?" woojin was shouting and standing up now. i looked away from him and back to baekhyun. his face was wet, supposedly from the tears. woojin's breathing was heavy. eventually he sighs and sits back down. he doesn't say a word, and was looking at his hands, avoiding eye contact. "i'm sorry," i choked out. "at least just stay here, even if you will be silent. even if you are mad at me for not being thankful for what i have and the things you have given me. i'm sorry. thank you for trying to make me happy." and he does. he stays sitting on the chair, silently and avoiding eye contact, eating a few boxes of the chocolate pepero with a member of exo on it. i didn't mind that he was eating them. he deserves the treat from the hard work. at least he's here.
a/n) ok tbh i deleted exorun bc i got bored of it and i was disappointed that there was no exo music at all whatsoever pfft but i found this picture in my camera roll and im wondering when tf i made it lmAO
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
