Memory (Harry Styles)

Chapter 46

The song for this chapter is Say Something by A Great Big World. Enjoy!

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Bree's POV

I wake up in a daze. That split second when you are completely disoriented and unaware of the events of the night prior. That one short moment when it feels like your slate is completely clean and you feel as if you are a totally new person.

Until reality sets in.

I open my eyes as the pieces start to fall into place. I don't know why, but I can't seem to wipe the grin off of my face.

I just had sex with Harry.

I'm not quite sure how I feel about it. Whether to be relieved, happy, upset, confused or disappointed.

I mean, it wasn't bad. Heck, it was freaking amazing! However, I still don't know where we stand with all of this.

Before this, I had been set on the thought that Harry was avoiding me and was upset with me for some reason. He hadn't been the same after our trip to my father's house for thanksgiving and I was sure something was wrong, but now I am just confused. Does this mean he wasn't mad at me this whole time? Was he just working up the courage to have sex with me? Was he planning this all along? I just have so many questions.

I roll over slightly and realize something that causes even more confusion.

Harry is no longer here.

As I roll towards an empty space on my bed, the feeling hits me.

All the feeling of regret and disappointment hits me like a tidal wave, something I am all to familiar with. I am suddenly taken back to the summer of tenth grade, the morning after I had slept with Josh. I had waken up in the back of the football field, cold and alone. It was one of the worst moments of my life and reliving it sends sharp pains through my chest.

I don't know exactly when it starts but hot tears begin to flow down my cheeks and I can't seem to stop them from falling. Soon I am sobbing into my pillow and for a second, I am somewhat thankful that no one is here to witness my breakdown.

Both my roommates failed to come home yesterday. Allie told me earlier that she was staying over at Liam's and I really have no idea where Eleanor could be, though I assume it's with Louis. So I guess it was kind of perfect that Harry came yesterday, since we had the whole room to ourselves. Though I did not expect him to come barging through my door at eleven o'clock in the evening yesterday after his game, it really couldn't have been any more perfect.

Well expect for him not being here when I woke up, of course.

Maybe he went to the washroom or to get breakfast. Maybe something came up. My mind tries to defend him but after thirty minutes of trying to calm myself down and repeatedly checking my phone for any texts or calls from Harry, I reason that he doesn't plan on coming back or even explaining where he went.

Instead of lying around all day moping and wondering where the hell Harry could be, I decide to give him the benefit of the doubt. Whatever his reason may be, I am not going to let it control my mind and ruin my day.

I get up, wipe my tears and decide to take an early morning shower.

Once the water hits my skin, I instantly relax. All the tension in my body seems to just melt down the drain. All my thoughts, worries and fears are removed from me and for awhile, I can breathe again. I quickly dress and head back to the dorm.

As I enter, I realize that someone is in the room.

For a second I think it is Harry, but as the long brown ponytail comes into view, I am sadly mistaken.