Memory (Harry Styles)

Chapter 51

Here is one of those surprise weekday updates I was telling you all about! So don't worry, there will still be a regular weekend update as well so stay tuned and enjoy :)
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I knew it was a mistake, but I couldn't seem to stop myself. Once the idea had formed in my head, there was no stopping it from coming out. I guess that's what anger can do, especially if the fuel is Bree.

Her face after Allie had stormed off is what gets to me the most. After seeing it, all I wanted to was take back every single word I said, including the lies I told her outside of Nan's home.

I tried to apologize, and trust me, I meant it, but she just wasn't having it. Not that I blame her. If I were Bree, I would've done way worse just walking away after the stunt I pulled. If there was any chance of forgiveness before, there sure as hell isn't now.

I think about her face as I down my fourth bottle of beer at the bar. It's been nearly a week and it still haunts me everywhere I go. The pain, betrayal and pure hatred in her eyes as she gave me one final look of disgust before bolting without turning back, was enough to break me down into a puddle of my own regret.

I sat there in her room alone for awhile after that, hoping for her to return and take me back. Of course, she never did.

Sometime after, Eleanor returned, quite surprised to find me still there.

"What the hell was that, Harry?" She yelled as she slammed the door shut behind her. I guess she gave up on chasing after a sobbing Allie. I avoided her gaze, not wanting to answer her question because I myself didn't really know why I had done what I did.

"Is it true? Did all that really happen?" She questioned as she sat next to me on Bree's bunk. I nodded slowly in response, looking down at my fiddling hands. She sighed as she gripped both my hands in hers, stopping my actions and forcing me to face her.

"Why would you do that, Haz? You're only making it worse for yourself."

"Don't you think I know that?!" I stood, surprising even myself at my sudden burst of anger. "She just-she just drives me insane sometimes!" I gripped at the ends of my hair in frustration and began to pace the small room.

"You can't let your anger control your actions, Harry! It'll make you do stupid things, like this." She warned, like a nagging mother. "What happened to telling her the truth about why you ended things?"

"Forget it El, it's never going to happen. She'll never listen to me now, it's over."

"Maybe if you just-"

"Just leave it be." I cut her off, not wanting to hang on to her false hope any longer. And with that, I left without warning, not being able to handle it any longer.

Now, almost a week later, I still can't take the effect it has on me. The effect she has on me.

The guilt looms over me like a veil of fog that just won't clear. Even when I sleep, it haunts me.

I wonder what she's thinking, how she's doing, if she's still hurting, almost ever moment of the day. It's eating me alive both mentally and physically. Not only can I not seem to be able to get her off of my mind, but I can't sleep, eat or do anything properly since everything happened.

It's gotten better, but maybe it's because I haven't seen her since that day in her dorm.

Classes just ended for the winter break, so at least the chances of bumping into have decreased. Not that it really makes a difference since I've been skipping out on my only class with her since our breakup.

My phone buzzes on my bedside table, releasing me from her hold on my mind. I check the screen briefly before swiping my thumb across the screen. Louis.

"What?" I mumble into the receiver, voice still raw from sleep.

"Bruh, you sound like shit." He comments and I internally roll my eyes.

"What do you want?" I press, clearly annoyed.

"Oh right, I was wondering..." He pauses for a moment, keeping me waiting, which gets on my nerves even more. "You're not going to that frat party tonight, right?"

I groan at this. The man just can't take no for an answer. He's been pestering me about this party for days relentlessly.

"For the last time, I said no. How many times do I have to tell you and Liam? I'm not going!"

"Okay, I was just making sure, jeez!" He says defensively, and I wonder why he felt the need to confirm my absence, but I don't have the energy to question it.

"Have fun." I conclude blandly.

"Oh wait, and Harry," Louis gets in just before I'm about to end the call.

"What?" I snap, wholly done with having this conversation with him.

"Get out of your fucking bed already, it's 3 in the afternoon for God's sake!" He shouts into the receiver before cutting the line. That fucker.

A while later, as I attempt to eat something, anything that will stay in my stomach for longer than an hour, my phone buzzes again.

At first I think it's Louis, once again unconsciously trying to piss me off or just checking to make sure that I finally got out of the confides of my mattress, but it isn't. I quickly swipe to read the text from the unlisted number.

Got it. Meet tonight?

Although I am seriously not in the mood to leave my house today. I'm in desperate need of a distraction. A distraction from her. This is the best way I know how. I touch my thumbs on the keypad and reply.

Where?

The reply comes seconds later. Someone's surprisingly eager to see me.

Beta house. Back by the water.

I sigh. Guess I'm going to that frat party after all.

I type in my response, adding in a little something at the end and knowing very well how it will come across as to the receiver, before clicking off my phone and finishing the remains of my afternoon cereal with a smirk on my face.

See you there :)

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Ooooh, who could Harold be texting???? Any ideas? I'd love to hear your theories on the story so far so be sure to comment! and vote while you're at it ;)
Like I said, this is just an extra update, which is why it's so short.
The regular one will be coming up real soon, so don't give up on this story just yet, cuz I'm back to regular updates and it feels amazinggg!
Thank you all again for being lovely Memorians <3
See you soon!!