The Love of Aphrodite - Book 1

A Torturous Affair

My husband waited for me already in bed, the room completely dim.

I find my way to the bed by the light of the small lantern on his bedside table. I reach to undo my dress but am immediately unsuccessful when I reach the strings of the corset.

I sigh and meet his eye. "Can I have your help?"

He nods subtly and I sit on the bed, my back facing him. He sits up and gently pulls the ties undone, his callused fingers grazing my skin so lightly I could barely sense it.

He is scared of touching me.

I turn and look to him sympathetically. "It's alright." I lowly encourage. I stand and let the dress drop to my waist, not at all shy at this point. He's seen it all already, after all.

He sighs but accepts me in the bed. "I would hate to be your first. I'm most undeserving."

"Would you rather me go elsewhere on our wedding night? Don't be like that, Hephaestus." I gently sass back to him with a slight smile.

Then, I joined him beneath the covers. His hands held onto my waist gently, as if I would break if he grabbed me too tightly.

He was strong but painfully hesitant in his movements. He pulled me underneath the covers and held himself over top of me with his tightly muscled arms, but he simply waited for my permission before going forward...as if he was not a man at all, just a puppy dog waiting for my command.

I reach up and lightly graze his bearded-covered jaw with my hand and look into his shy eyes. "I am your wife. Show me." I state simply, encouraging him the best I can to go ahead.

His eyes narrow looking down at me as his lips part and let out a heavy breath, exhibiting what I can only describe as pure lust.

He kisses me immediately after, showing his passion. I do like it, besides the prickliness of his beard on my soft skin. Instead of spending time encouraging him more, I take some time exploring him myself, grasping the muscles in his arms, back and finally his stomach. He finally kissed down my neck, sending shivers through me I never before imagined.

Through this everything has begun to feel natural and my impatience is starting to shine through. Quickly, I wiggle beneath him, my hand searching for him under the blankets. He groans in both bliss and surprise once both my legs are wrapped around him and I begin to push him inside. He immediately helps along by holding me up by my lower back and pressing me up to him, surprising me more with his strength.

From there, I allow him to take care of me and experience it from there as he chose. He did please me and made sure of it...but something was missing. It felt like a simple act and nothing more...perhaps, that may change, but I'm not sure if it will.

The night was satisfactory. Nothing terrible was wrong with the experience, but I felt myself needing more...from someone else. It was as if a part of me could not be quenched by any simple man, especially not this one. He is nothing but a partner who could possibly do as a friend to me, nothing much else.

Even on our first night, I had doubts that I could ever love him or lust for him, in the same way, I could imagine loving or lusting after others.

What a torturous affair this has turned out to be. This is what it feels like to be the lustful Gods, beholding me with their eyes, but never allowed to touch. A fiery want filling you with a terrible fire that cannot be put out.

After Hephaestus had finished. He lay alongside me and slept. I laid awake, eventually driving myself mad enough to leave the room altogether. Then as I left the bedroom, I kept going out the front door of the humble abode he called home. I found myself barefoot in his yard, a sheet draped around me to conceal my-newly-wedded from peering eyes in the night.

Then, for hours, I laid in the grassy field a small walk from his home and stared up at the star-filled sky. I nearly fell asleep there, feeling momentarily at peace since my emergence from the sea. I was not unsettled, nor dealing with lustful or hatred-filled eyes. I wasn't beneath my new husband, a man I do not know.

I was simply me, in charge of me.

And from that moment forward, I decided that I will remain in charge of myself always.

A woman's marriage and affections are her own choice, not the decision of some God of Thunder! Especially not if it is merely to keep the peace between Gods that cannot contain themselves in the presence of a new beauty. Surely, they can keep their own thoughts and actions under control in the presence of a Goddess who is not theirs to take - but they are allowed to act and think as they please! Surely, they are not the only ones that get the right to be promiscuous, running about behind their wife's back, and thinking nasty thoughts whenever a female passes by. Surely, Goddesses shouldn't be expected to stay true to their husbands who do not show them the same respect.

There was no way I am going to be a simple, obedient, mindless wife. Not to a husband whom I do not even love. I may be underneath Zeus in power, but he only made me marry him, not stay true to him. I can allow my eyes to wander, can't I?

Zeus underestimated me. He wants to punish Ares by keeping me out of his reach, but marriage is not a barrier that can stop me. Not when the marriage is not genuine, and every God in sight does not have to follow the same rules.

I will be in charge, and I will make my own rules.

* * * * * *

The following morning Hephaestus bid me a chaste goodbye before leaving for his work. It was a difficult, tedious trip, and ends with tireless work that occupies him for hours on end...work that I haven't come to quite understand yet. I know he works with fire, creating objects out of metal in the terrible hot space between the Underworld and Earth. He didn't ask me to accompany him. Thank goodness, or else, I would have had to say no.

I don't expect I'll ever go down there.

When he's out of sight, I take a walk, scrounging for any familiar faces.

I desperately hope to see Hephaestus' eye-pleasing brother, but there is no sight of him. I suspect he may be working too, doing even more dangerous work than my husband. Such an impressive thought arises butterflies in my stomach. It feels practically like a mockery, doesn't it? Zeus wanted a husband to protect me from the other Gods, to claim me so that a war would not erupt over my hand....and yet, he handed me to a God who has left me alone in my first day of marriage, and I am alone searching for the envious God of starting wars himself.