Belated Blessings

Prologue

The journey through womanhood has to be one of the most trivial pursuits. As young girls, we are engrossed in fairytales, ready to model the life of our favorite princess. We expect to meet the man of our dreams, get married and live happily ever after. However, after we have lived a while, we learn that our ideology is off. Personal life experiences and our peeks into the lives of others slowly change our view.

"Be independent but not too independent; you don't want your man to think you don't need him," my mama said. "Support his dreams and be involved but don't lose yourself in him. Keep your house clean and you man fed, both literally and figuratively", she said. I chuckled at her attempt at discretion.

My granny told me, " Find you a man with some money and give him some babies, just in case the shit doesn't work out." All I could do was shake my head. Now my Auntie was a different story. She told me just to live my life and follow my dreams, and everything else will come when it's supposed to. She also said to me in the meantime, I should invest in a really good vibrator. I damn near fell out my chair at her frankness. I chose just to absorb the information and come back to it when necessary.

It was during my junior year at the University of Alabama that I needed to recall that information. My best friend Destiny coerced me into going to the Alabama Statewide Greek Alumni step show in Birmingham. It was only a forty-five-minute drive, so I obliged as long as she was driving. The energy was surging through the building; meanwhile, the Coke and Hennessy in the tumbler I snuck in were surging through my body. I told Destiny that I would be right back and excused myself to the restroom.

 I was fumbling with my headphones when I ran into what seemed like a brick wall. I bent down to retrieve my headphones and phone that tumbled from my hands only to bump heads with what I deemed as a brick wall. I looked up into the brightest smile that at the moment was seemingly blinding. I immediately apologized for my clumsiness. Maybe it was time my tumbler found its way back in my purse. He told me, " the best apology I could give him was my number and a chance to take me out." Real smooth, I thought.

As it turns out the brick wall had a name, Zachery. Zachery was a graduate student in the Civil, Construction, and Environmental Engineering program at UA. I was perplexed that we attended the same school but yet I never saw him around. The idea wasn't too far-fetched, UA was huge, and I was an introvert, so it was entirely possible. He was also on the football team. His logic being he had two more years of eligibility so why not play and use that scholarship money to get an advanced degree. He would be graduating this summer. From the night of the step show to the present we were inseparable. It was a whirlwind romance. Zachery proposed at my graduation party in May of 2011, and we married in September of 2012.

There I stood in the midst of my fairytale. I met my prince charming and married him. Now it was time to live out my happily ever after. The only problem is, in the midst of the children's books, my mother's rants, and the advice from my aunt and grandmother, no one told me about all the bullshit in between. They omitted that information, but my journey didn't.