Descent

March 31st, 2018

So I've been wanting to call up the others for awhile now since the march. But how can I?

I pushed them away so much and than finally figure out they care after they leave......

Some of the states, territories, and cities/capital are still here...... but I pushed them away too.

I can't, I just can't talk to them about this after pushing them away. Would they even care?

No, I can do this. I'm fine on my own.

I'm the superpower, so I have to fend for myself. I have to

No matter how hard it is.

There's another meeting coming up. I think I might skip. I'm not sure.

China is basically watching my boss's every move. He doesn't want to be left out with everything with North Korea. Honestly, I just like seeing both Koreas actually be happy around each other. They're twins who were separated for a long time and I know they have a lot to catch up on.

John won't stop bugging me.

I wonder how the world would be like without me? Just a thought, John's been really bringing that up lately and won't stop.

He's been bringing up really good points. Like, there would have been no Great Depression. That was my fault after all, since my market crashed first. I wouldn't have gotten involved in wars that I didn't need to get involved in.

When my market does well, so does everyone else's. And when it doesn't everyone gets mad........... They're just using me, aren't they?

Well I have to suck it up. My emotions don't count. I have to lead, I have to be strong, they all look up to me.

No matter how hard it is.

Sometimes I wish I could just be a normal country. Not a superpower that everyone looks up to.

I just wish I could talk to the other....... No, I'll be fine on my own.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Alfred closed the diary and sighed. He wiped the falling tears and went to lay on his bed.

You're so weak, trying to trust them, they don't give a damn. And you wonder why everyone hates yo-

"Please John," Alfred whispered, as the tears picked up, "Please just be quiet."

No, no, stop crying. Superpowers are strong, they don't cry. They can't.

Alfred quickly wiped the tears away and fell into an uneasy sleep.

He was trying to act like he was alright. But he was lying. To his family and himself.

And bottling up your emotions is never a good thing.
Cause when it all bubbles over.

It's never pretty.