Diaries of a suicidal mind(Under editing)

14 October 2013

A\N: hey there beautiful writers! so I guess stacy will get a dedication :D 

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LENY'S P.O.V

Dear Diary,

   Have you even been afraid? 

Because I am, I'm afraid, afraid that maybe tomorrow when I wake up, someone else wold take my place.

I'm afraid that tomorrow I wake up and find William gone, or Andrew, or my mom, or anyone dear to me is gone.

I'm afraid, afraid that I would end up alone again in my dark room. 

I don't want that to happen, I'm happy now, I want to stay like this forever.

I don't want to lose more people, but I know that sooner or later, William will go back to Britain to see his father, and Andrew will realize he can do so much better than me and he would leave me hanging and he would act like he never really knew me.

But the worse part is that I will lose all the confidence I gained these past few days, and I will go back to being alone. 

I'm afraid that I will be down again, and no one will be there for me again, I hate being this way, and no one understands it.

I'm afraid that if William finds out what a sad case I am, He would run away or laugh at me, he would leave me and never come back.

I'm afraid that if I tell him, he wouldn't help therefor he shouldn't know. No one should know.

My dear diary,

I'm afraid of being in the dark, despite the year I've been in it, I came back out to the light and going back to the dark again is a thought that scares me.

Despite the fact that I am more than just scared of waking up alone, I would love to wake up someday, finding my brother next to me, alive, and we would both still hang out.

My brother wan't a mean person, everyone loved him, from children to his classmates, and from his classmates to elder people. 

He used to help everyone, I remember that old lady, he used to do her chores but sadly she passed away too. 

He was such a helpful person, 

*FLASHBACK*

"Remind me why are we here again?" said my annoying 14 years old self while texting one of my friends. 

"Because helping people is nice" He said as we entered some house where they gathered elders that were left by their children. 

"Yeah but why am I here with you again?" I reminded him.

"Because mom thought it would be a great idea to come" he answered.

*End Of Flashback*

A tear fell on my face as I remembered him, he was involved in almost every charity work in our town, he used to donate money to kids that fights cancer and work voluntary with some associations, for short, he was a great person. and I bet he still is one.

My brother was very protective of me, he used to get in fights for me at school when boys used to flirt, yes, boys thought I was attractive.

He has perfect blue eyes and brown hair that once was curly, and just a beautiful smile that never left his face.

He was just too young to die, to leave me. 

I collapsed on the floor. 

How could they do this to me, he shouldn't have left me. th-they shouldn't have.