Under my skin

Chapter 9 - Old memories come back.

*Author's note*

I hope you like this chapter, I really like it :D

please fan and comment! xo juls

LOVE YOU ALL!

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Chapter 9 - @Julia_Golafshan (twitter)

I slammed the bathroom door, determined not to cry. I hadn't cried for years, and I couldn't cry now, especially not in front of Niall. He is a superstar, for crying out loud! I couldn't burden him with my problems, especially not if I met him yesterday!

I slowly got up, resolved to not let my emotions get the better of me. I couldn't cry in front of them, wouldn't cry in front of them; after all, Mum left nearly 14 years ago. I should be over it by now.

The boys were banging on the door, telling me to open up, and let them know what was wrong - it really touched my heart that they cared so much about someone they had only known a few hours. I hoped we could stay friends, despite their fame.

"It's alright, I'm coming out now," I said, as I opened the door, and straight away I was engulfed in a huge group hug.

"What happened? What was it that made you so upset?" demanded Liam, and he looked straight into my eyes. I looked away, knowing that if I kept looking at him I would give in.

I promised myself that when I got home I would deal with the pain nagging in my chest, the pain that was coming back - the pain mom caused when she left.

I pretended to laugh, and said in what I hoped sounded like a carefree voice "I'm fine guys! Just felt sick for some odd reason, but all better now!" I smiled, and Louis, who was looking very worried, looked a lot better.

"I'm glad to hear that Ivy, I actually thought for a minute that I had offended you!" he said, and gave me another hug.

"Are you completely sure you're ok?" Niall asked tentatively, and I wondered if my mask wasn't working properly: usually people believed my lies straight away.

"Yeah, I'm sure," I said, while I went to the table and started packing my books away.

"Then why are you going?" Liam frowned, as I put my books in my bag and tried to find my phone, not seeing it anywhere.

"I have to cook dinner," I said quickly, "and it could take a while, so I should go and start now." I gave them all a hug, and Liam and Louis both said bye.

Niall opened the door for me, and as I walked out, he opened his mouth to say something - just as Harry and Zayn walked back in.

"What?? Going so soon?" Harry asked, looking shocked. "Did Niall scare you away already?"

At this he winked at Niall, but Niall didn't say anything, he just helped me out the door.

I said bye to both Harry and Zayn, and we left, Niall coming out with me the back entrance where I had come in to the hotel. But by this time a huge, and I mean HUGE, group of girls had guessed that this was the 'secret' entrance into the hotel.

As soon as the door opened and we appeared, all I could hear was the screams of these girls, and it was a sound I would never forget. I just never thought I would be here; until today I was just another fangirl in the crowd.

He yelled at me, "I'll text you later!" and I could just hear him over the noise, even though he was standing right next to me! It was crazy, and he gave me a hug goodbye, just as the security guards came and ushered me into the car.

This time, however, the car was not so subtle... it was a black limousine. I guess it didn't matter about being secret when everyone could see you.

I finally got home, and I thanked the driver, wondering how he put up with the noise and irritation that came with the job. As I walked inside my house, I realized that if I didn't call Beck and tell her what happened, she would be so angry with me - words probably can't describe it. It was different when nobody knew that I had met Niall, but now that thousands had seen me with Niall...

I should probably be the first one to tell her that I had met one direction and spent half the day with them in their hotel.

But first things first. The pain in my chest was still there, and I felt torn - was Louis right? Did mum run away because of me? It hurt me to think about it, and I walked into my room, dropping my bag on the floor, and walking straight into my bathroom.

I just couldn't believe that my emotions could change so dramatically in one day; from feeling on top of the world, to feeling like an unimportant piece of dirt.

I took off my jacket and cut again, except that this time I cut twice on each arm, and a little deeper than before. Straight away the pain in my chest felt lighter, easier. Poor Louis, he just didn't realize how much his words impacted me - not that I blame him, he was just trying to be funny.

I cleaned up the mess my bleeding arms had made, and put new band-aids on, taking deep breaths as I did so. Walking back into my room, I picked up my phone and called Beck.

This would be a long phone call.