Breaking Silence

Chapter Eleven

I had woken up to a peaceful, sleeping Jovano and didn't want to wake him up, so I sneaked out of bed and made my way into the bathroom to do my daily routine. While showering, that was when it finally crashed into my thoughts that I had cut my hair. 

Running my fingers repeatedly through my new cut, I had to admit that I missed having it long. It felt like a part of me was gone because I would always use my hair to hide my face and now it was gone, thanks to my stupidity. 

When I was done showering, I wrapped the comfortable towel around my body and stood in front of the mirror. I still looked like her, except now my hair was much shorter than hers but I looked like a younger version instead.

Finally being able to quit staring at my reflection, I entered the bedroom to see that Jovano was fully awake as he sat on the bed. His wavy, light brown hair was messy and flying all over the place which gave him that sexy kind of look.

A sudden growl from him immediately caused me to jump back frightened as I stopped my little staring session. 

"Who did that?" He asked between a growl as he eyed my body. It was then that I remembered that I was only wearing a towel meaning that my arms and legs were on full display showing my scars. I also recalled that he had seen the minor scars on my stomach, but the deep scarring was actually on my legs. Many came from times, that I had been dragged by my hair on concrete or stones. 

My mind was instantly looking for a lie to cover it up although my heart was just breaking from all the lies that I was constantly telling him. 

"From running in the woods," I said softly, as I avoided his eyes. With just one gaze into my eyes, he would see through my lie straightaway, so I quickly went into his closet to get dressed and to avoid any more of his questions.

It seemed he had already gone shopping for me, since half of his closet were already filled with female clothes in my size. Looking at them, I realized that there wasn't much long sleeved clothes or long pants and skirts which made my heart sink.

'Nuestras cicatrices cuentan nuestra historia.' Those were always the words of my grandmother when I used to ask her why she never covered up her scars. She always wore it proudly despite the looks and attention it would draw to her. It meant that our scars tell our story and she was right.

Scars seemed to run in my family, but my mother was the only one with just a few. Even my grandmother's face was covered in them and now there's me. We are just a scarred family.

Keeping her words in the back of my mind, I picked out a gorgeous knee length floral dress with a back cut out. It had been quite some time since I had wore anything that even revealed my arms, let alone my back, but it was time for a change.

When I was done, I sat down on the bed waiting for Jovano to finish in the bathroom. When he came out, I felt as if I was on cloud nine.

His hair was dripping wet, framing his model perfect face as water run down his soaking wet body. His four pack on full display as the towel was wrapped tightly around his waist, while a nasty part of me wanted it to fall off.

I could tell from the look on his face that he was going to ask about my scars again but was thankful when he just went into his closet instead, before coming back out dressed casual.

"I have the day off so we are going to the park," he said, before looking at what I was wearing once again. "Are you sure you don't want to change?" He asked, making me feel as if he didn't like me because of my scars, but I nodded my head.

Putting on my sandals, I followed him out the door and into the hallway, where everyone immediately began staring at me. I could hear their gasps with surprise written all over their face but I didn't let it affect me.

I could hear them whispering about what they thought happened to me, but one quick glance from Jovano would immediately shut them up as if nothing happened.

When we were finally out of the pack house, I let out a breath of relief that I made it through with my scars on full display to everyone. I was now wondering how my grandmother was able to wear hers out so casually and now thinking about it, I was wondering if I could go visit her. The last time I had saw her was at my mother's funeral and that was it.

No more phone calls or letters, nothing. I refused to believe that she had just abandoned me and thought that maybe she was ill, but I was slowly giving up on hope. Maybe she did abandon me, but it wouldn't hurt to reach out to her.

"We're here." Jovano's voice pulled me out of my thoughts as we arrived at the empty park. It looked like no one had come there for years, but still looked in good condition. The equipment wasn't in the best state but looked like you could still use it.

Looking around, I run over to some wild flowers before allowing myself to fall in them. I was rolling around in them like a little child before I heard Jovano chuckle at my silliness. It felt nice being surrounded by flowers.

When I was done fooling around, I stood up before racing over to a bench and sitting down as I removed all the flowers that was stuck in my hair. It wasn't long before he came and sat down besides me. I could feel his stare on my body but a word never left his mouth.

"They run deep in my body as a reminder of my tragic past. The memories of which I try my best to bury, but they always find a way back to the surface. Even when I thought of giving up, I had enough willpower to keep me going. To fuel my want for freedom. My scars show the struggle I had went through to gain my freedom. They are a part of me and they tell my story." 

When I was done, I looked at him to see that his face was full of emotion but I smiled at him before hugging him tightly. 

"Thank you." They were simple words but behind them were full of emotions that I couldn't even manage to put into a sentence.

"Are you ever going to tell me what happened to you?" He asked after a few minutes had gone by and I was beginning to think he forgot how to talk.

"I would like to, but it just pains me when I think about it now. So, hopefully in the near future."