Kingdom of battles ✓

Chapter 31

Nightmares.  

I wasn't completely sure when they started, heck, by now I wasn't sure of anything anymore. I just remembered how at one point I stopped falling. Then I was laying on the ground, with nothing but complete pure darkness. No matter how long I walked, which way I went, I never reached any place, everything around me always stayed completely black. That was starting to drive me crazy at first. I was never afraid of the dark, I was sure about that, but being in it for so much time was starting to change me. One day I just give up, collapsed on the ground and didn't move any more. I couldn't stand up again and try to look for the light again, I just couldn't it was destroying me to see my hopes crushed every time that I tried. At one point I finally realised. There really was no hope, only darkness.  

My cheeks were stained with tears of solitude and my terrified screams were resounding in my mind. I was rolling around, pulling my hair and crying every time the scenery around me changed in to another nightmare. That was how it was from then on, it was either horrible visions or completely nothing. Sometimes I didn't even know which was worse. The nightmares that were showing me my biggest fears coming true or when there was nothing around me but darkness. The nightmares terrified me, but the darkness was just as horrible, because it was like it was slowly draining me. Memories, feelings, soon the only thing that I had left was my name. I was laying on the ground and shaking with fear, gripping to the only thing that I had left. My name, Natsumi. I was repeating it in my mind, like an endless melody to keep me sane.  

Natsumi, Natsumi, Natsumi.  

Soon it became really hard to remember even my name. I could sense the coming of my end, my actual end, how I was beckoning further in to death. Delusions filled my mind, whispers that were telling me that there was hope waiting for me on the other side. Every time those thoughts became too strong and started to seem too real I then quickly closed my eyes, started chanting my name and tried to remember the reasons I lived for. But soon I couldn't remember even the reasons anymore, the memories became just pale and blurred silhouettes of faces and knowing that my life was really bad before I met them. I was living in sorrow, but then I found joy in supporting the ones I loved. I didn't know who I loved anymore, two people that reminded me of myself, a girl with neon green eyes, some guy with the eyes in a similar color and other faces, too blurred to be described in any way. But I knew that I found joy in supporting them.  

Natsumi, that was who Natsumi was. 

Natsumi, Natsumi, Natsumi.  

Suddenly I noticed how a cloud started floating closer to me. A cloud in this darkness? It was strange, weren't clouds supposed to be on the sky? Even if I couldn't even remember anymore how the sky actually looked. Was it blue? Then it started raining. But it wasn't raining normal water. If it was really supposed to rain water. It was water that rained from clouds in the real world, right? Probably. But the thing that was raining on me now were tiny black creatures. Spiders. 

The next moment I started screaming again.  

When I came back to my senses everything around me was completely dark. My limp body was still laying there, faint traces of tears were still on my face. My eyes were looking somewhere. They were blue, but other then that, there was no emotion in them, nothing besides desperation and sadness of someone who lost all hope. 

My lips moved and a whisper came out of my mouth: '' N-Natsumi... '' 

This name meant something, but I couldn't remember anymore why it was important. 

Natsumi. 

Who... who was she? 

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