Imagine
~ your at a neon party for your friends birthday. Everyone's wearing white or neon. There's black lights and glow sticks everywhere.
Your bestfriend that you've known forever is being a total jerk to you telling you to "just shut up" and "go away". Your other really close friend is saying she hates everyone at the party except your bestfriend and one of the guys.
You thought the party was going to be so much fun.. but it wasn't. Everyone was being rude. Except your best guy friend Dylan Dauzat.
Your all down in the basement for the party and there are two rooms everyone is in. You keep traveling back and forth between rooms trying not to be a bother. Eventually. You stay in one of the rooms that is pitch black. No light or anything. It's really quiet and you like it in there. In the room are 6 other people including Dylan. At one point in sitting in a room, you crack a glow stick open by accident. It's all over your hands and clothes. A few people tell you it can kill you. Then they all tell you to lick it. And you do. Not because of peer pressure. Because you just don't want to be here anymore. No one believes you actually licked it so they ignore you. however you know Dylan saw you do it.
Later when you get home, you text Dylan. He's the only one that cares.
"Listen I'm sorry if I was being annoying tonight. I'm sorry if I annoyed you by trying to get a picture. I'm sorry for irritating you when everyone wanted you to play truth or dare. I'm just so sick of everything and I've had enough. I wasn't kidding about not caring if the glow stick would make me die. No one cared anyways . They all told me to do it.
I dont even know what I'm doing texting you this. You probably don't want to hear it. I just felt the need to talk to someone and our the only one I felt I could. My bestfriends were being total jerks to me tonight. I'm sorry. " You text him.
By now your really hoping the glow stick does something.
You get a text back from him saying
"Hey you weren't annoying and I care if you die please don't think this way!! I'm your friend and I care about you. They didn't even talk to me tonight really, they were just all over The guys and kept giving me this weird look! But your great and don't forget it!!"
You-"I guess. All night I wasn't having the greatest time and all I've been thinking is the toxic. Early when I said I actually licked the toxic, I did. And to be honest, I hope It does something. I can't help but feel this way. I was even thinking about cutting. I'm sorry. It's just I don't think I can stay strong any longer. I can't hold on. I'm giving up" you text again.
Him-"No don't give up!! Please you don't understand! Life is a beautiful thing you just need to hold on to what's true and right to you and you will be ok."
You-"Honestly , your the only one that cares. You caring, is the only thing that is keeping me strong. My life is a freaking mess. It's not even worth it"
Him-"No it's not, your life is full of worth you just need to express it and learn to not be afraid of your true self"
You-"A few weeks / about a month or two ago I though being my self would be a good thing . I guess not. Everyday I come home and into my room crying and listening to sad or worship music. It's literally my thing now. I never want to go to soccer that much any more. I hate getting out of bed everymorning and not because school. Well yeah school sucks . But whatever. I feel like I'm losing my bestfriend. I feel like no one wants to be my friend. I don't eat at parties because I'm embarresed off my size. I literally hate eating Infront of my own parents. How is my life actually worth it."
Him-"Because it is!! You just need to put all your negative thinking in a box and think of the positive things! Everybody has their own body shape and there's nothing wrong with that, you don't have to be super small to be great!"
You-"There is something wrong with that. Atleast for me. I can't go anywhere with out feeling insecure. Even lying in bed all I can think of how emabrising I look. I can't even think positive any more. There's nothing left. It's all gone. I'm sorry if I'm keeping you awake. You can go to bed. "
Him-"No that's ok I just want to let you know something before I leave. You are great, smart and you have an amazing personality!! I wouldn't change a thing about you! I'm your friend and I will always be on your side. Just remember if you ever need anything I'm here, you can always trust me. You truly are a wonderful friend, sleep well! :) cya!! ;)"
He's the only one that's keeping you strong. And your so thankful of him.
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~Kayla💕💕
