Little Wolf

Ch 8 Man of a Beast

Wolf.
Man.

The wolf I had just been was more wolf than I had ever been before. I felt confused and disoriented. I glanced at Dad as he eased the truck back on the freeway.

I am a man. I knew I was. But...

My body twitched, even though I had completed my transformation. My clothing felt constrictive, sitting awkwardly on my lanky frame. I tried to speak, but the words wouldn't form.

Dad nudged the water bottle over until it bumped my thigh. I awkwardly managed to unscrew the top and take a sip. I didn't trust myself to put the cap back on. My eyes followed my fingers as they moved. It was like I didn't know my own hand.

I automatically turned when Dad sighed.

"Open the glove box."

I pushed the button, and the small compartment door popped open. Inside was the usual assortment of papers for the truck, a small first aid bag from which many a bandaid had come when I was a kid, and the heavy leather pouch Dad called his emergency kit.

I knew what was in it, had seen everything there many times when we went camping. I pulled the bag out now, knowing what he wanted. I slid out the waterproof matches, one of those emergency foil blankets, a flare, and a well-used hunting knife cocooned in an old leather sheath.

I pulled the knife out, slid everything else back in, closed the pouch, and put it back in the glove box.

Dad reached out, put one hand on top of mine for a second before clicking the radio off. We headed down the road in silence for a bit before he finally spoke.

"Little Wolf, what does the wolf want?" Dad glanced away from the road and at my silent form. "You know it as well as I do," Dad continued. "The wolf wants to live free. It wants to enjoy the sun on its back and the ground beneath its feet. It wants to play. It wants the companionship of family. It wants to hunt and to eat."

Another look over at me. Dad was grinning, and I knew he was thinking of the appetite I had gained with that growth spurt and how often mom had lovingly teased me about it. Or maybe he was thinking of how I had gotten into some garbage as a wolf pup and had my stomach cramp up with worms. Had to be the absolute grossest thing ever. I learned to be more careful where I stuck my nose after that.

"When food gets scarce, the wolf doesn't go on his own, so only he can eat what he finds. The wolf isn't greedy or selfish like men can be. More lone wolves just as hungry will join him. They know they can overcome their hunger problem together. Even if they've never worked together before, instinct tells them what to do. Their voices join in the night until they hear that particular note, connecting with each other.

"When they find prey, they are on the move. Weakness becomes irrelevant. Previous competition becomes irrelevant. To survive, the gathered wolves become of one mind and one accord. They become one pack. They fill their need by working together.

"And even when there is no need at all, there is the wolf's song. Even if they drift apart, they reconnect with their voices as their howls echo through the night. The wolf needs that connection."

Dad paused again. I knew all this. He knew I knew it. The point he was driving at eluded me.

"What happens when your human brain shifts into a wolf brain? Hmm? You want what the wolf wants. And the wolf isn't interested in becoming human. You have to give the wolf a reason to be human, feed its curiosity, its need for family. It needs to know, without a doubt, that survival depends on your human form as well as the wolf form. You need to know it. This is the most important lesson I can teach you, Little Wolf."