There's No Accounting For Love

Chapter Sixty Eight

DEDICATED TO ALICEMORRIS7

The Monday following their break up, Alan went to the office early to try to avoid Clare, not her exactly, but all the angst their quarrel might cause in the office. As Bob's car was the only one in the car park at the moment, Alan sighed a sigh of relief.  As he went into his office from the corridor, Bob was standing by his desk.

"Good morning, Alan, how are you?" asked Bob brightly. "Have a good weekend?"  Alan gasped as a sharp pain took him by surprise and his hand flew to his solar plexus.

"Oh," said Bob. "What's the matter?"

Alan sat down on the first available chair.  "I keep getting these pains..." Alan paused. "Our engagement is off."  Alan paused again.  "We're not suited after all..."

"Oh...oh..." blustered Bob, whilst his eyebrows jumped up and down.  "I don't know what to say...I'm so sorry, I was so sure you two were meant for each other...how sad!"

Neither of them spoke for a while as Alan's pain subsided.  "Phew! Did you want something Bob? Can I help you?" asked Alan, still clutching on tightly to his stomach.

"I just came to say I'm taking you out to lunch with Michael Graves today,so keep 12.30 – 2.30 free. We're going to 'La Evita,'" said Bob proudly. Bob's face changed from estatic to sympathetic in just two seconds, and he patted Alan's arm.

"Don't worry, it will all come right. I feel it in my bones. You and Clare will be married within six months, I can feel it. I am psychic, you know!" Bob laughed.

Alan groaned, inwardly.

"I think I'm going to have to leave Dixon's Bob. Clare is adamant....."

"No! No one is leaving." said Bob. "No one, but I must tell you this Alan, if I had to choose and I mean 'Life or Death' here, had to choose, I would have to stick by you. You are my junior partner and you have done wonders for this business the last few months. I am so pleased! I will pay you twice the salary before I let you go, so please forget that straight away! (But don't hold me to twice the salary, will you, I can't afford it.)" Bob smiled at him, but Alan felt the opposite feeling, he felt like bursting into tears! Such a lovely compliment on top of his troubles.

The lunch with Michael Graves turned out well and they had another couple of clients lined up for their accounting services, recommended by Michael Graves. Bob came back to the office very happy. Alan did not.

As Clare predicted, she was put in to work with Mary and Catherine moved in with Angie. Angie had a terrible day, trying to placate Alan on the one hand and Clare on the other. Alan could tell she was completely mystified as to why their engagement was broken.

The weeks went by. Two weeks before Christmas Alan felt really ill and had to visit the doctor. She told him he was suffering from stress for which she prescribed walking, thirty minutes at a time and deep breathing. To his surprise, he found it refreshing walking around the park and he did most evenings. Although it was cold and dark, there was always someone else running or walking with a dog and it felt reasonably safe. The deep breathing wasn't any good for him as when he got to a certain point he fell asleep, but didn't stay asleep for long. He started to suffer from insomnia, so much so that he had to drink black coffee during the day to keep himself awake.

Alan came back from his walk in the park one evening, locking the front door behind him. As he came into the lounge the phone rang. Alan picked it up.

"Hello,"

"Hi Alan, it's me Philip. Just to say we won't be around over Christmas.  Sorry about that, I know you wanted to visit, but something's come up and we have to go away."

"That's disappointing. What's happened? Nothing serious, I hope?"

"As you know, we can't have children, so we're going to Romania to adopt a baby. Libby is on a high, you should see her! If she gets her way, we will be coming home with a car full of kids! We'll be away from the 22nd December right through to the 7th January. We'll need that time to decide what we're going to do."

"Wow! I don't know what to say. You've obviously thought this through, I won't insult you by saying "I hope you know what you're doing!" because I know you do."

"Thanks Bruv. I'm sure we'll have difficult times, but the end result will be worth it. We are able to give an unfortunate child a good home with every advantage, so why not?"

The conversation ended with Alan wishing them all the best and he put down the phone. He felt even more lonely now. There would be no family Christmas this year. Libby and Philip wouldn't even be in the country and Clare was still not talking to him. He hadn't seen her much in the office and she was still staying with her mother. Rumour had it, she was going to Chester to visit her friend Grace over Christmas, so she wouldn't be around either.

All in all, Alan felt miserable. His only friend, it seems, was the whiskey bottle. It was always there and it never complained. He had taken to drinking whiskey when his father was ill to keep him company and it had given them both something to do together. He took his bottle of whiskey from the cupboard and poured himself a glassful...right up to the top.

He then ate a small meal and was washing up at the kitchen sink, when the phone rang again. This time it was Kathy.

"Hello Alan, how are you? I was wondering, I know Philip won't be home for Christmas, so I thought would you like to come to me? Clare won't be here, but Sandra, Stephen and the children will and Frank of course..."

Alan was so pleased to be able to go to Kathy for Christmas. He felt better straight away. He sat down in his favourite chair and turned on the radio. Keeping his eyes open (he dare not close them) he began to take deep intakes of breath and then slowly exhale.

The song that got to him most, started to play. It was the wonderful Natalie Cole, singing 'I Miss You Like Crazy.' And who did he miss like crazy? Everywhere he went, lately, it was playing somewhere or other. Even in the pub 'The Crown' which strangely enough didn't even play music very often, it had been playing the other night when Alan popped in for a meal. It was haunting him, that song and it was beginning to get to him BIG time.  As she sang the lovely song, tears gathered in his eyes and a couple of moments later, tears were rolling down his face. He sat still until the end of the song and then he got up and went to the whiskey glass, still brimming full of whiskey and he took it into the kitchen and threw it down the sink. Drinking whiskey was not the answer. The only answer was Clare.

Christmas came and went. It was good for Alan to spend Christmas Day with Kathy, Frank Middleton and the family. Alan had always admired Frank. He was a bit shorter and plumper than Kathy, but such a lovely, happy man. A good man. It was good to spend time with him and catch up, further on old times.  

It was the first day back after the Christmas holidays and Alan was in Angie's office going through a new procedure on the computer.

"No, Angie, you're not listening. Forget that old schedule, we have to use this one." Alan was saying.

"Why do we have to keep changing things?" asked Angie. "It took me ages to get the hang of that old one and now we've changed it again."

"Well, we have to keep up with the times." said Alan.

Angie scowled. "Okay, but what is the point, when the old way is just as good, if not better?"

Alan got up from the chair, which was tucked in next to Angie's.

"Look, don't argue! Just get on with it!"

Angie poked out her tongue as Alan walked away and Catherine, who was sitting at Clare's old desk, suppressed a laugh. Alan went into his office and closed the door behind him.

"He's such a grouch." said Catherine. "He's missing Clare isn't he? It's killing him."

Angie sighed heavily.  "Yes. It's awful, I feel so bad. And the worse thing is, he's spending the New Year turn of the century celebrations all alone. We've all got tickets for parties, there's not one spare ticket available and I've absolutely no idea what to do about it."