There's No Accounting For Love

Chapter Nineteen

It was September. The summer was almost over. Hal and Clare were busy in the house, clearing out and tidying up and the decorators had finished every room. The house felt clean, looked very smart and was no longer 'Bohemian'.

Alan was looking more at ease and Angie and Matthew were also happy, although Angie said she was desperate to move out of their tiny flat. It was beginning to get on her nerves! Clare said it served her right if she had 33 pairs of shoes!

"Honestly, Angie, this is the funniest place I've ever worked and mostly it's you and Alan." said Clare.

"Isn't it amazing," said Angie "how one second he's falling about laughing, but as soon as he sees, or even hears Bob coming he changes immediately and complete composes himself. I've never seen anything like it. You know what I call it, 'Alanesque,' you've heard me say it before."

Clare agreed, Alan was always most professional with clients and other office staff, it was only with 'you guys' as he called Angie and Clare, that he would let himself go. It was a matter of trust, obviously, and they felt privileged.

One afternoon, the three of them had a terrible fit of the giggles, but even before Bob appeared in their doorway, Alan drew himself up to his full height, all six feet of it and ushered Bob into his room saying, "The guys have a fit of the giggles Bob, ignore them and they may go away."

"Angie, we must stop. I'm going to the loo to try and calm down." said Clare getting up from her desk and leaving the room.

Later, when Bob left Alan's room he stood in the corridor and said to them both,

"Ladies, you work very hard, but I do wish you wouldn't laugh so much." The trouble was, Bob Dixon had large, bushy eyebrows and as he talked they moved up and down, up and down and it was incredibly hard not to burst out laughing. And it was far worse when Bob was agitated! Clare glanced at Alan standing in his office doorway looking completely composed, but as soon as Bob returned to his office, they started to laugh again, but this time more quietly. "I've never in my life before, seen a man who can juggle his eyebrows." said Clare.

"Come on guys, that's enough." said Alan and obediently they settled down to work. "I'm glad I'm Alan's P.A. and not Bob's." whispered Clare to Angie. "I'd die!"

Alan closed his office door, but they could still hear him laughing.

A few weeks later Bob called them all into the corridor. "What's going on Angie?" asked Clare. "I don't know." she replied. They reached his office door and there was Bob, his eyebrows working overtime, furiously moving up and down, up and down. Everyone who worked downstairs had gathered in the corridor. "I know you all like a little joke, now and then," Bob said angrily "but would somebody please remove these offending articles!" There, on Bob's office door, was an A3 sized piece of paper with a drawing of a face, the spitting image of Bob and two blue furry caterpillars, each with two eyes, where his eyebrows should be.

Alan appeared at that moment. "What's wrong Bo...?" his voice trailed away as he saw the picture on the door and Clare thought, 'Oh no, he's going to lose it!' but in real professional style Alan said sternly, "Whoever is responsible for this outrage see me in my office!" and walked smartly away. Bob marched angrily into his office and closed the door and Clare removed the picture. Everyone was trying very hard not to laugh.

But that wasn't all! There were blue caterpillars in the Ladies on each WC cistern and on the mirrors and also in the Gents, on the urinals and on the walls. The whole of the downstairs office was in uproar. Clare returned to their office, bringing with her as many caterpillars as she could find. "They're everywhere!" she said to Angie. Alan was standing at the filing cabinet searching for a file.

"Oh, didn't you know?" he remarked. "Blue caterpillars always breed in September."

He had a wicked, boyish grin on his face. He lifted a file from the cabinet, pushed the drawer shut and returned back to his office.

"You don't think?" said Angie "No!"

They never did find out who played the prank and to their knowledge no one owned up.

Bob surely would have dismissed them if they had. It was a mean trick to play on a Partner, although it was hilarious!

The next day Bob's wife rang in and Clare answered the call.

"Hello, Clare, can I speak with you please? That prank yesterday, were they eluding to Bob's eyebrows?" Clare nearly choked. "I'll put you through to Alan." she squeaked. "Alan, it's Helen, she wants to talk about the prank." Before he could answer Clare put the call through. Angie and Clare listened, they could hear Alan's voice, but not what he said. He sounded very composed, but as soon as he put the phone down they heard him laugh out loud. He never told them what Helen said, but the next time they saw Bob he'd had an eyebrow job. His bushy eyebrows were gone. They looked neat and tidy, although they still jumped up and down, from time to time.

"Blimey!" said Justin "Doesn't he look different?" And they all agreed it was a vast improvement.