The Styles Triplets

Chapter Thirty-Nine

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Harrys POV

"Can I come in?" I hear Gemmas voice.

"Only you," I warn and hear Jeff back away into the hall.

Gemma takes slow strides into the room. Her eyes are red and she looks exhausted. I've never seen her like this before.

"Harry," she cries.

"Don't cry," I tell her, "you have no reason to cry. It's me being idiotic. Don't cry for me."

"Why did you do this? Why did you sleep with her," she wipes her eyes with the balled up tissue in her hand, "I know that's why you did this. You regretted it and you drank feeling like it was the only way to end and forget what you did."

"Stop crying," I tell her, "stop feeling bad for me. You're stronger than that."

"I can't help it! You're my brother and I don't like seeing you in a damn hospital bed again," she says.

"Don't cry for me, only cry for Marcel and Edward," I sit up, "do you hear me? Never feel bad for me."

"Harry stop it," she shouts, "of course I cried for Marcel and of course I cry for Edward, and I will cry and worry and feel bad for you."

"No," I argue, "I'm the screw up here. Don't take my mistakes and make yourself worry."

"For god sakes Harry you almost died! How can I not?" she says. She's forcing her tears not to fall but fails.

"And if I did what? Are you going to blame yourself for everything that happens to me?" I tell her.

"I feel like I should," she sniffs.

"Well no you shouldn't," I lean in to face her.

"Well because you always need me and I'm never here for you. You out of Edward, and Marcel..you always need me. They don't need me like you do. I'm your guys' big sister and you depend on me more," she's right. I've always called Gemma for anything. But lately I haven't which is why she feels like she's the blame.

"Well you have two other brothers who need you," I tell her, "you can't blame yourself for what I do just because you can't always be here for me. Look at Marcel," I begin, "I'm sure he needs someone right now. He's more broken than I am."

"I can't talk to them how I talk to you," she cries even more, "we have a much closer bond. I feel like Marcel will shut me out because he feels like he can solve his own problems."

"Marcel solves math problems, he can't solve personal problems," I tell her and she half smiles, "stop crying."

"I can't," she sobs louder.

"Look at me," I say and her head lifts up, "I don't care if I'm younger than you but you're going to listen to me. You're going to stop blaming yourself and you're going to stop feeling bad for me. I clearly have no brain to know what I was thinking. I slept with Macey out of a deep hatred I had for someone. I'm not going to say who but just know that Macey means nothing to me anymore and I know you hate her because of what she did. I'll promise you that I won't call her for my selfish needs ever again. For your sake because I don't want you blaming yourself."

"I hate you so much," she laughs, "I can't believe you did that," she playfully punches my arm.

"Ow," I rub my arm and laugh along, "are you going to listen to me?"

"Yes," she shags my hair and smiles.

"Good," I say, "but just wait until I get out of here. I'm going to get you back."