A Secret Worth Telling

Chapter 16: Horrid Truths

Xavier's POV

I stare in confusion as Lola shuts the door of my bedroom carefully and smiles at me politely before approaching my position on the bed in the center of the room where I am currently reading. Yup you got me the bad ass Xavier actually reading a book but here I am after hearing Rory's incessant drivel about this particular book I've decided to give it ago as horrifying as that sounds.

"Can I help you?" I ask rudely and she smiles shaking her head slowly at me and I glare at her in confusion "but you can help Rory" she announces as soon as I'm about to her ask her why the fuck she's in here then but I still at Rory's name. "Oh yeah and how's that?" I ask cocking an eyebrow at her mildly amused now and she stands in front of me a hand propped on her hip. "I'm worried for her she's not how she was" She admits fake concern plastered on her face but I scowl at her as she continues "you know she feels trapped with you like she can't be herself as though she's being forced to be someone she's not and I know she isn't happy at all". 

I demand for her to leave as she continues her talk about how Rory feels at the moment and that she want's to pursue so many things but i'm holding her back. I slam my fist into the wall making a huge hole form as I continue to beat the shit out of it a large chunk of me know's how right all that shit Lola said. 

I hold my head in my hands as Rory skips into my room and as soon as I look at her words spin throughout my head 'you're slowly destroying her'. She smiles at me talking non stop about some new song she's finally learnt to play but I don't listen to any of it. "X are you ok?" she asks her hands going around mine and she rubs my back in a soothing motion "this isn't working" I admit and she looks at me confused "us" I elaborate pulling away from her touch reluctantly and her face immediately crumples an expression I absolutely hate her wearing. "but i don't--" she begins but I cut her off shaking my head "i'm sorry Rory but it's not right" I finish and am forced to look at the hands in my lap as tears slip down her beautiful face causing me an indescribable  amount of pain but she doesn't say anything instead leaves and takes a part of me with her.

Rory's POV

Tears blur my vision yet again as I sit at my piano my fingers brushing over the keys with each note played but it does nothing to drown out my sobs apparently because Lola comes in worry etched across her usually smug little face. "Rory come on you've been playing non stop for hours and crying the whole time" she says softly sitting next to me on the stool and for a brief moment I encounter the real Lola, my sister. "What happened?" she asks and I tell her after a huge breath but she barely bats an eyelash "now it's all my fault I'm useless at everything even keeping a hold of someone I truly care about" I say and Lola shakes her head spending ages trying to convince me i'm not worthless "but I am I should just end it all" I mutter and Lola looks at me stricken at the words I just uttered.

"No you don't get it" she says but I shake my head angrily wiping tears away as she desperately begs me to listen to her "everyone's right I am just worthless and stupid how could I allow myself to think that he cares about me as much as I did for him" I ask and she looks at me speechless  "he couldn't even look at me am I that bad?"I ask a fresh set of tears flowing freely down my blotchy face "it was me" Lola says through my ramblings and I look at her dumbfounded "don't be silly you did nothing" I reassure but she shakes her head tears welling up in her eyes.

"I told him that your relationship was destructive and you both deserved better" she admits hanging her head in shame as I look at her in pure shock "w-why?" I stutter and she laughs shortly "you know even after you shut everyone out they all still preferred you, you should've heard them all asking whether or not if you're alright and how beautiful or strong you are. I just wanted you to know what it's like to be outshone and after dad I knew what I had to do I still miss him so much and every time you look at me the guilt from what i'm doing and how disappointed dad would be gnaws at me I can't help it" she gushes and I blink at her my head reeling at her confession.

"I don't expect you to forgive me but I want it to go back to the way it was please" she pleads and I nod "of course but please just tell me why" I say and she nods before swallowing hard "I was so jealous you know how come you got someone to look at you like that and love you unconditionally when I can barely get one guy to commit to me and just me" she admits and I shake my head before hugging her. 

Anger has long since left my system it's a huge cry for help and the only person that can do that is me I have a chance to get my twin sister back and I'm not ready to pass that chance up even though it was my happiness that had been shut down.

After several minutes of quiet sobbing into each others arms I perk up "you know I know someone willing to commit" I say thinking of Chris and she stares up at me in bewilderment "do you remember the blonde boy I hang out with?" i ask and she nods eagerly at me "the one I kissed?" she asks and I nod smiling at the fact she remembered him "well what do you think of him" I ask and she blushes slightly before mumbling in an embarrassed tone her face turning dark shades of red "trust me he likes you  talk to him you might be surprised" I suggest and she nods. "I'm going to talk to Xavier for you I promise" she says and I smile lightly at her internally hoping that was the only reason he broke up with me. Truth be told I don't know what to do without him at the moment it's like a huge gaping gap has been left in me and I can't seem to fill it like a thirst I can't quite quench or a hunger you can't quite feed. All I know is that it's slowly destroying me from the inside.