Pretending (A Calum Hood Fan Fiction)

Chapter 37: Him

It's been a week since we had one of the moments in our life that we'll surely never forget. My band won the competition, and whether you believe it or not, we defeated the band who won last year. It was all unexpected, even unbelievable at some point. When we got on stage, we got showered by boo's and profanities from the crowd. By that moment I already thought that we suck and we don't have any chances of winning. I was all scared and nervous the whole time. But I did well because she was there. Kristen was there. I couldn't look at the crowd, but when I felt her eyes on me, I suddenly had the guts to look up and do better. I thought I wouldn't be able to perform the songs we wrote, especially the one that I made for her. I was truly nervous. Nervous that people might not like it, and nervous about Kristen getting the hint behind every lyrics. I cannot have enough guts to tell her what I feel. Every time I try, I just always end up eating my words. So I thought that maybe if I cannot say it, I could sing it. I wanted her to know about it so bad. I wish I could just say it but I couldn't.

I hadn't seen her today. It's the last day of the week and I know how much she loves it, but she's not here. I didn't get too worried though, but I couldn't stop wondering why. Did something happen again? She had been acting weird but I choose to ignore it. Maybe I just can't take the fact that she's not that really into school.

I rushed my way home since my dad texted me to get home as quick as I can. He didn't sound very serious, but I know that something's up. I'm excited and nervous at the same time. The familiar feeling came back, no matter how much I try to brush it off away. I really shouldn't be like this all the time. I always get too nervous about everything. This might be something that isn't bad, even though I was told to get home immediately. I seriously need to stop being negative at all things.

I took a deep breath as I finally stood in our door step. I didn't take the time to knock. I turned the door knob with my cold shaking hands and made my way to the living room. I got surprised to see every one home. My dad, my mom, and even my sister. What's going on?

"Wha-what's up?" I stuttered as I walk closer. I turned to look at my sister. "Why are you home, Mal?"

"Am I not allowed to see you guys?" She smiled and walked closer to me and pulled me into a bone crushing hug. "I've missed you, buttcrack."

I smiled as I hugged her back. I've missed her too.

"So what's up guys? I mean, you wouldn't be home right now for a reason?" I took a sit beside my mother and gave her a quick peck on the cheek.

"I've heard you and your band won a competition." My dad stated with a serious tone. I felt my body tensed up a little bit.

I don't know what to feel. So he already know. I wonder how he feels about it. About me winning a competition with my band. I know how much he wanted me to be one of those successful business men. When I was a kid, he wouldn't stop mentioning about how successful he is with his job, and how much he wanted me to be just like him in the future. I didn't want to give away his dreams. But it wasn't mine to have. I have my own goals in life and I know for a fact that if I followed someone's expectations about me, I wouldn't be really happy. Soon, I know, I have to choose. I have to pick what I really want to be. And I know I already know what I'm going to choose. But I couldn't stop worrying about my father. What if he expects me to be just like what he wanted me to be? I don't want to disappoint him, but I can't disappoint myself either.

I swallowed hard like there's something big in my throat as I look at my father, talking to me about the competition. I tried to pull out a smile.

"Uhm, yeah." I laughed lightly, making it sound like it was real. "We won."

"You should have told me, I could have watched!" Mali retorted, giving me a light punch on the arm.

"You said you were busy at Uni so I didn't even try to call you." I replied, trying to look calm about the whole situation.