Pretending (A Calum Hood Fan Fiction)

Chapter 71: Him

There she is.

Gray eyes, red lips, blue plaid dress, white coat, black stilettos, straight blonde hair, no pink tips.

"Kri- Kristen?" I stuttered, making it somehow loud enough for her to hear.

For some weird reasons, I kind of expected her to just ignore me and walk out of the coffee shop and forget what just happened. But what is really happening is she's walking closer towards me, with her eyebrows furrowed and a confused look evident on her face. I don't know if she's just wondering why I'm here, or she might probably by annoyed for seeing me here. I don't know, I can't read her mind.

"Cal?" She uttered, making it sound like she's not really sure that this is me.

I chuckled lightly. "The last time I checked, I'm still Calum." I replied and smiled. I wanted to lighten things up. The tension between is us getting... weird.

She chuckled lightly as well, making it sound like music to my ears. It has been a long time that felt like forever since the last time I heard her, and saw her. She changed, and I could truly say a lot. I don't understand why I could say it's really hard to recognize her from what she looks like right now, but one look was all it took for me to know that this is her who's standing in front of me. I guess it's because I've got to memorize every single detail about her before, and I know even the littlest ones. That sounded weird, but I smile at my thoughts anyway. Memorizing her was like memorizing my favorite song. And forgetting her seemed like a very difficult task for me.

I admit, it's not that easy to just let go.

"You look nice." I stated out of the blue. I wanted to punch myself for letting that slip out of my mouth. I thought I would regret it though, but I didn't.

Because she smiled, and my heart just fluttered again.

"Thanks," She retorted with a smile. "You don't look bad yourself too. New haircut, I see."

I don't want to get things awkward between us. To be completely honest, never in my life had I expected that this would ever happen again. Not for once, or I don't know. I actually hoped and prayed for this to happen, and god knows how much I wanted to. But I didn't expect it would. It's hard to explain. I'm just really probably... glad. I don't know. That's the best word to define what I feel. For now, maybe.

She waited at our usual spot while I get her something to drink. She might be thinking right now about how pathetic I am for still staying at the same spot where we met. Her words about telling me this place means a lot to her are still fresh inside my mind. I wonder if she still feel the same about it. Because it is still for me, and probably will be forever my favorite place.

I placed her frappe at our table and sat back down on my chair. I started wiping off something on my face when there's nothing even on it, just to try and get rid of awkwardness. I remained silent while watching her observe the drink I got her. She bit her lower lip and then flashed a smile at me. My eyes lit up.

"Java chip venti with K on it." She chuckled lightly. "You know me well, you butt face."

Maybe she really didn't change at all.

I chuckled lightly and looked down, completely mesmerized by her presence. I don't know what to say, I'm lost for words.

"So how have you been?" I started asking.

"Well," She licked her lips. My heart started beating rapidly. "I didn't know I would somehow love uni. It was somehow sad because I'm not home, but it was fine in there. I mean, I got to know a lot of new things, and I met new people too. And yeah, they have this really wide and huge field and it's a great place to skate. Too bad I didn't bring my board with me."

The smile that I had managed to form never left my face even just a single second. I couldn't help but stare at her face and watch her lips move as she talks. She's still the same like she was before. She's quiet, but if you started talking about something that she's really into, she talks a lot. It felt like I haven't seen her for ages. I want to ask what she's been up to, what did she do for the past two months she's gone for uni, why and when and how did she got used to wearing stilettos and dresses, and mostly, I want to know why her pink tips are gone.

"How about you?" She asked back.

"I still love you."

But I couldn't even let that slip out of my mouth.

I do, yes I still do. I still love her with every fiber of my being. I still think about her all the time, and it's not that easy to stop myself from doing so. Our pictures are still kept on my phone, and I still look at them every time. I still drive around the places we usually hang out, including this shop. I couldn't stop thinking about how her kisses felt, how her chuckles and giggles sounded, how her warm and tight hugs felt, how her smiles fluttered my heart, and how she could manage to make me weak even by just looking at me. I still read her letter for every once in a while to make me feel like she's talking to me. Every single day I still wake up wondering why things changed, and at night I would wish that I would wake up with her right beside me. I know I sound crazy, but I can't stop myself. I'm still in love with her, and I'm still hoping for everything to fall back into place.

But I guess it's somehow different now.

"I'm fine." I lied.

And right after I smiled, silence engulfed us. She focused on her drink, and I remained silent as I focus on mine. I still want to ask questions, but I am starting to find it hard to speak. I don't know, I feel like I couldn't manage to utter even just a single word. I still want to know everything about her. I want to catch up on things, or maybe just talk. I don't know. I'm such a fucking wimp.

"So how's school?" She started asking again, breaking off the silence that had formed between us.

She never fails to calm me down.

"Everything's good," I answered smiled. "Somehow different now, I guess."

My eyes then shifted to the glass window and just stared outside. She did the same thing, and I automatically smiled. I hope she's thinking the same thing I am thinking. What could she be thinking?

Let's give it a go then.

"Wanna go a for walk?" I offered and smiled. "You know, let's uhm- catch up on each other."

Kristen stood up and beamed a smile, the smile that I fell in love with and still falling for. I did the same thing.

"I'd love to."