Pretending (A Calum Hood Fan Fiction)

Chapter 33: Him

"I think I know who the 5th member of this band is!" Ashton shouted as he walked back, carrying a bowl full of popcorn. "Luke you suck. Kristen's the new lead singer."

Luke rolled his eyes and smirked. "Just tell me if you want to kick me out of the band. Please Kristen don't let this happen."

Kristen just laughed and we all did the same thing. We had been like this since this afternoon and I admit I like it.

"Five seconds of summer!" Michael shouted out of nowhere, making us turn to look at him with confused looks evident on our faces.

"That must- that's not acceptable." Kristen stated and Michael laughed. "What?"

"I mean our band's name." He said.

"Seriously?" Luke's eyes widened with a big smile on his face. I don't really know what to say, I just looked at them.

"Can we all talk about this later and just watch now, please?" Michael uttered.

After our three hours of rehearsals, we all agreed to watch some movies before heading back home. The practice was tiring, but we all had so much fun. We weren't all so serious but we managed to get everything done. It has always been fun but it was nothing compared today. Kristen had made such a better atmosphere and it was really fun having her around. I liked how she got along with my best friends. It's like she's starting to be a part of us now. We have girls in our group, but the way they bonded with her was completely different. She's obviously the quiet one, but no awkward moments were done right after we finished singing together. That is probably something in my life that I would never forget. I never thought I would get that chance, I never even thought she could sing. I couldn't describe what I was feeling while we were singing together. All I know is I love her, and she makes me love her more everyday in everything she does.

I just wish she knew.

I sat beside her and tried my best not to keep everything awkward, to keep her feel comfortable. Michael is on my right side, so I turned to him and hugged his arms. I know I look completely stupid but I just don't want any awkward situations. If I had to look funny or stupid, then be it. I can handle it.

I'm lucky Michael is in the mood so he kind of put his arms around me and rested his head on mine. I looked at Kristen but not turning my head on my side and saw her grinning. Good job, Calum. You're making her smile.

"When are you guys competing, by the way?" Kristen asked, breaking the silence we had made.

"Friday." Luke turned to look at her and gasped. "Fuck, next week!"

"Shit man oh my god next week oh my god!" Ashton squealed and Michael joined in, making me laugh.

"Calm down you shit heads!" Kristen said, laughing. "You guys don't even suck. You're probably gonna get it."

The way she talked with such sincerity made us all quiet and smile. She always has this calming aura and it never fails. It works a lot and I guess not only for me now.

"You think so?" I turned to look at her and asked.

"Yeah," she chuckled lightly. "Just don't put me in the band."

"But that's what I want to happen!" Ashton exclaimed, pulling out the sad puppy face. Luke threw a pillow on his face. I couldn't help but laugh.

"Just play the damn movie and let's watch!" Kristen retorted with a laugh and we all agreed. Ashton rolled his eyes and played the movie, She's The Man.

I don't know why we end up watching this film. We always watch a comedy movie or a horror or an action, but we ended up watching a romance or a chick flick, I'm not sure what do I have to call it but it has something to do with a couple falling in love. This movie, I think, is about a girl who wanted a to be in a soccer team but failed to have her own team so he dressed up like a guy to be in the boys' team. That must be tough. Pretending and shit.

Yes. Okay, here we go again. I just hate it whenever it crosses my mind, but I know I have to think of it like all the time. This whole pretending thing, what is this? I couldn't understand it anymore. I am struggling between wanting it to be over and keeping it going. I want it to be over, and just tell her that I can protect her in a way that we don't have to pretend and fool everyone that we're dating. I can always be here for her and if I have to beat the shit out of Chris all the time, I wouldn't mind. Even if I had to get hurt and wounded everyday, I'm pretty sure I can handle it. I just don't want to pretend anymore. I'm sick and tired of pretending. Pretending that we are dating, and pretending that I am not in love with her. This is starting to get harder than it seems. I'm having a hard time hiding it now. I always find myself smiling at her, I couldn't even stop myself from touching her. I always remind myself to get mad and act like a jerk, but I couldn't. It's getting harder to pretend. No matter how much I try, I always just end up being a love sick puppy and it's not good.

But at the same time, I don't want this to be over. This is the only thing that is keeping us together. What if she doesn't feel the same towards me? I know after all this she wouldn't talk to me anymore just like before. And I'm afraid for that to happen. I couldn't even last a day without her now. I can't even be sure that we'll have a decent friendship after this fake relationship. We're almost in our limit. It's been almost a month. I don't want to count the days but I couldn't stop myself. I don't want to lose her. I don't ever want that to happen.

The movie's funny, but since we're not really into this kind of film, my friends had started dozing off. Michael had fallen asleep into Luke's shoulder and Luke rested his head on Michael's. Ashton is snoring lightly on the floor, hugging the bowl of popcorn that was full moments ago. I got up and moved quietly to turn off the TV since none of us are still watching. I slowly went back to my seat and turned to look at Kristen. Her eyes are half closed and her head keeps on moving, obviously falling nearly asleep. I tried not to laugh, I might wale everyone up if I did. She just looked cute. I smiled as I stare.

"You can rest on my shoulder if you want?" I suggested, making her open her eyes widely.

Her eyes opened widely as she gasp lightly.

"You scared me." She muttered.

I tapped on my shoulder and without a doubt she rested on it. I felt a hand on my side so I moved a bit and lifted my arms, wrapping it around her, making her head rest on my chest. I rested my head on hers and she wrapped her arms around my torso. Within a minute she started snoring lightly, looking peacefully asleep. I smiled and kissed her head, savoring another perfect moment with her.

I closed my eyes.

"I love you."