Pretending (A Calum Hood Fan Fiction)

Chapter 32: Her

It's been so long since the last time I skated. It felt so good, since this is really one of my favorite thing to do. Calum had suggested to come and pick me up but I refused, just to be able to do this again. I thought I wouldn't be able to skate again since my leg got injured. But here I am again, skating and swaying my way to somewhere. I just love doing this.

The thirty minutes of skating to Ashton's house had been really fun. The weather is kinda tricky today, and that just made everything better. The sun is up shining but the wind is cold and somehow freezing. Great thing I'm wearing a hoodie to keep me warm. I took my board from the ground and walked towards the door. I checked the time on my phone and it's 3:27 PM already. I took a deep breath and started knocking. Within a minute, a guy with a chocolate-colored curly hair appeared in front me.

"Kristen, wow!" He pulled me into a hug. This is so unusual.

"I never thought you'd show up! Come on in!" He added and gestured me to get inside.

"Calum didn't tell you guys?" I asked as I make my way in.

"He did," he chuckled in a very jolly way. "It's just that every single time he asks you to come, you always refuse to go."

I just laughed at his statement.

We walked inside their mini studio and I was welcomed with a drum set, guitars, and a table filled with papers and a lot more stuffs. I was kind of surprise not seeing the other members of their band, especially Calum. They all should be here, but I guess they're minding some other things? I don't know.

"Where are they?" I asked, turning to look at Ashton.

"They went out for a while. Calum said you'll be coming over so they kind of bought food." He smiled and I did the same thing. "It's the first time that we actually have food while practicing. You seem to be a very special person."

Ashton left the room, leaving me with a stupid smile on my face. I don't know what to say, I actually don't understand why am I smiling. I just couldn't stop myself. It's just a simple something, but it makes me happy. I feel so special, somehow.

I got up from where I was sitting and started looking around at their little studio. There are posters of different bands on the walls, each side. I looked at them just like what I usually do whenever I see one. I remembered how I looked around at Calum's room. I like his room so much. I moved to look at the other side, and there I saw a cork board filled with pictures. I couldn't help but laugh at their goofy faces, especially at Calum's. I adore their friendship, hoping that I have something like that too. I wish I wasn't this awkward and quiet. I could have had so many friends if I wasn't really very anti social. I say I hate people and everyone, but sometimes I see myself in envy whenever I see people being happy with their friends. I can't stop wishing I have people in my life too that are happy enough to consider me as one of their friends. If I had one, I will keep it. Having someone you can always talk to is something that you should always be thankful of. I'm thankful for Calum. He's probably the first person who told me I can always talk to him. They say that we shouldn't trust, and in my whole life I never trusted anyone, but the sincerity in his eyes were present the moment he said those words to me. I have never let anyone in my life before, but I guess giving it a try wouldn't be that bad.

I walked back and without even noticing, I bumped into a guitar. I gasped and got scared that I could have crashed it, luckily I didn't. I got closer and took it, feeling the strings in my hands. Holy shit. I have missed playing. I closed my eyes, and let my fingers strum a chord or two. I sat back down, immediately having a song inside my head. I smiled and started strumming, making myself sing along.

Memories of me and my dad flashed back inside my head. I would have stopped and probably smash this guitar, but surprisingly, I didn't. I remained smiling and singing to the song I'm playing. It's one of my favorite songs, and I realized it kind of meant something, to my current situation. I gasped lightly at the thought, making me stop. I smiled. What the hell is this feeling? I shook my head and started playing again. I'm happy I still know how to, after years of stopping. I like how my fingers are starting to ache. I have missed this feeling so much, oh my god.

"I didn't know you can play and wow you sing too!" Michael popped out of nowhere, causing me to jump and fell off of my sit.

"Michael you-you scared me!" I stuttered, getting up from the floor.

"Kiss Me Again? Wow, that's one of my favorite songs! Didn't know you're into that kind of music too." Luke stated as I get back to my sit, barely looking at them. I feel so embarrassed when I really shouldn't have to. I can't look at them and they are looking down at me, showering me with... compliments?

"You all should be thanking me for leaving her here." Ashton stated and I rolled my eyes. I realized maybe I couldn't have done that if he was around.

Everyone had started walking to their positions and someone remained standing in front of me. Black converse. I recognized the shoe. I remained looking down the ground. I don't know why but I still can't look up and show my face. I feel so shy and embarrassed. I haven't even done anything wrong but I just can't look at them. He walked closer and my cheeks started heating up. Oh my god, Kristen. Calm down!

"That was- you're great. You're really great, Kristen. You should sing more." Calum sat down and I tried my best to look away as he smiled at me. I lowered my head, trying to cover my face. I forgot my hair is up in a bun so I guess I failed hiding my blushing face. This is so embarrassing.

"Well I- thank you?" I slowly looked up at them and started speaking. Calum stood up and walked towards his bass guitar and put it on his shoulder. This is it. I am seeing him play.

"I couldn't get the song out of my head now, wow." Michael stated, making our heads turn to him. "How about we play it?"

"Play what?" Calum asked.

"Kiss Me Again? By We Are The In Crowd?" He stated as sat back down, holding his guitar. "I'm pretty sure you guys aren't losers to not know the song?"

"It's actually my favorite." Luke said, joining in the conversation. "So let's play it?"

"Who's singing?" Calum asked.

My heart started beating rapidly. Oh my god please not-

"You'll sing Alex's part and Kristen will be Tay. Hey Ash, you on?" Luke said as he started adjusting his guitar, making Michael do the same thing. I couldn't talk, having all these butterflies dancing in my stomach again. I need to calm down but I couldn't seem to do it. I got frozen on where I was sitting. I couldn't say a thing. I have never let anyone hear me sing before. I want to refuse but...

Calum walked closer to me and held my hand tight.

"Sing with me?"

And before I could manage to talk, the boys had started playing the song. Luke and Michael were smiling while strumming their guitars, Ashton being the giddy himself while banging his drums to the beat, and Calum doing his thing with his bass while preparing himself to sing. The other mic is already in my hands and I'm holding it tight. I might really give this a go. I just hope I won't fail. Even though it's just the five of us here, I'm still struggling.

"I gotta say, something I've been thinking 'bout
I can't wait to lay around with you
And tell you all the secrets I've been keeping to myself..."

My mouth hang open and I couldn't seem to say anything. I'm wonderstruck, feeling like I got sent to heaven for a moment. He sounded so beautiful, I couldn't get it out of my head. I suddenly found myself smiling, my knees turning into jelly. Oh god. Why is this happening to me?

They didn't stop playing but they all turned to look at me. Calum smiled at me widely and waved a hand, making me realize that it's my turn. My turn to sing. My heart started beating loud and uneven again but I managed to stand up, and walked closer to them. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. Okay Kristen. Let's give it a go.

"It's been a while, since I felt butterflies
Do you feel the same way too?
If every single second could last how much longer
Would you hold me...?"

I stood there singing awkwardly while I hold on the mic tightly. I managed to sing the song without my voice failing. I keep looking at the ground, thinking that it's the best way to just keep me singing. But then I felt eyes looking at me. I turned to look at my right and there's Calum, smiling at me. I smiled as I sing, making it a lot more easier for me. I guess he never fails to make me feel better in any situation.

We both sang along at the chorus part and I had found myself enjoying the moment. I couldn't stop myself from smiling. I never knew I would like this.

"And kiss me again, underneath the moonlight
You're more than a friend,
Oh I knew it from the first time, yeah...
Hold me, feel my heartbeat
Put your arms around me..."

Our eyes met. Calum smiled at me, making my heart flutter.

"And kiss me again."

I locked my eyes on him and smiled.

"And kiss me again."