Dream On (Jonathan Toews)

Chapter Thirty-Four| Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas

Mary Kate

Every December 23rd for the past six years I've self destructed. I would lock myself in a dark room and drink until I passed out, I would cry until I made myself sick. For a while when I couldn't play hockey I just traveled going to different universities getting a degree in sports management. One year I was in Boston, another at USC, last year I was in Houston at this time. But this year was different because I wasn't by myself on December 23rd. I had three people who cared deeply about me and helped me regroup. They were all being really cautious around me and I hated when people did that. That's a big reason why I left Wisconsin, everyone knew me and what happened and I never wanted their sympathy. After a while I was tired of hearing "sorry" and the sad eyes and the people treating me like I was a fragile figurine. So I left, I had more money than I knew what to do with but the only thing I wanted was the things money couldn't buy. But this year I had my adopted family. I had Pat and Jonny and Vanessa and someone to finally listen to me. I don't usually get tied down to places and would have moved by now, but I had a few good reasons to stay.

Christmas morning I wake up happy as ever. Patrick's family was over yesterday and it was rejuvenating. His sisters were all so sweet and loved telling embarrassing stories of Patrick which I ate up. Donna and Pat Sr were great and the sweetest couple ever. We spend the whole day watching Christmas movies and baking cookies, I really enjoyed their company. Then today Jons parents were coming down and we would do a gift exchange and have dinner with them. I slip on my Christmas onesie and head downstairs for the regular morning routine. When I get there everyone is already down there in their PJs ready to go. I check my watch to see it's only 7 am and become very confused. "Did someone die" I ask as I approach the mass in the kitchen. "Nope, its Christmas. Besides hockey it's the only reason I'll get up before 10" Patrick admits. I take the coffee he made me and we all go to the couch. We hand out presents and decide to open them at the same time. Vanessa got me a new stick because I always break mine at practice, especially after the other day. And she found a picture of us from when we were at Wisconsin and put it in a frame. It was from when we won nationals freshman year and she picked me up off the ice. It was my favorite picture for the longest time. "Vanessa this is so great, thank you" I say giving her a big hug. Patrick gave me some new pots and pans I've been asking for because since I moved in here. I've complained that the pans they had were terrible so he took it upon himself to get me new ones, they were actually really nice. He also got me a team USA jersey and things from bath and body works because I have a very unhealthy addiction to them. Lastly I opened my present from Jon which was workout cloths that matched his and the Nike shoes I keep looking at and meaning to buy but never had the time. The last thing I had was a black and red bag that with silver paper sticking out. After I take out the paper I feel a jersey like material and take it out. It was the Hawks home jersey with my name and number. There was a paper on it that read "Mary Kate. You're a big part of this team and we wouldn't be where we are without you. Thanks for the memories and here's to more to come, love Jon". I promised myself I wouldn't cry today but these guys sure weren't making it easy. "Oh Jon" I gasp as I jump into his arms. "Thank you so much" I say into his ear. "Anything for you baby girl" he replies.

Jons parents come over and we enjoy a nice dinner. We talk about the year so far and the Olympics. "Rumor has it you're going to get an A" Bryan says wiggling his eyebrows. "I don't know about that. There's plenty of girls who've worked a lot longer than myself" I claim. "Yeah, but no one works harder than you. And whenever you talk they listen. If it were up to me I would give you the C" Vanessa says. I didn't know she felt that way, I guess I never really paid attention. I just really want us all to do our best and try everything to make sure we're ready. "If you get a letter before I do it going to be incredibly jealous" Patrick says. "You already got the skills and talent, don't get egotistical too" I playfully warn. "You're right" he shrugs and returns to his food. "This turkey is amazing, good job on it" Andrée says looking at me. "Thank you, I really appreciate that" I smile. We spend the rest of dinner having a civil conversation of the Olympics since it was three Americans against three Canadians. We finish up and decide to watch a Christmas movie and drink hot chocolate.

We end up watching Elf which is one of my favorite Christmas movies and enjoy our time together. I had forgotten what it was like to be a part of a family. I spent so much time feeling sorry for myself and running away from every chance of something good happening to me that these things that usually don't mean anything mean everything to me. But somehow I attached to Jon and everything that came with him and I found myself a family again. No one can replace what I had, I was the happiest child in the world. But this was pretty sweet to. I started to wonder if I was done running away. I still want to travel but traveling with the Hawks is just as good. I love the boys and got back to hockey so why would I run? No matter where I go my issues will follow, like a shadow on a bright and sunny day. I was looking for a reason to stay and I think I found one. I look over to Jon who had already been looking at me and I grow a smile. "Hi" he says with a cheesy grin and I couldn't help but laugh. "Hi" I respond. He pulls me in for a quick kiss and I let my eyes flutter back open. "Merry Christmas Mary Kate".
"Merry Christmas Jonathan"
I couldn't leave... right?