Chapter Forty Six

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Chapter Forty Six


"What's the time?" I ask as I sit down in the lounge next to Harry.

Let's just say, after I asked Liam that oh so important question, there were a few tears on my behalf. We then had a very in depth conversation about how this has been tearing me apart and how I'm very upset about Louis not wanting to talk to me anymore. We did have a very nice bonding experience that's for sure.

"About half past eleven."

"Wow. I guess I have been asleep a lot of the day," I sigh.

"You have," Harry chuckles.

I turn my attention back to the telly, trying to make sense of the story line playing on the large screen. Honestly, it just went in one ear and out the other. I couldn't care less about what's playing on that screen. The only thing that my brain can focus on right now is Louis' absence. 

Yes, I know that he doesn't want to talk to me anymore but I still can't help the hole in my heart that forms when I can't see him. It doesn't matter how much I try to ignore it, it's there. Constantly clawing at my heart and trying to get me to go find him.

But I don't want to. I don't want to have these feelings for him anymore. I know that he is a great guy but right now, I don't care about how nice he is. The way he treated me is the real reason I don't want these feelings for him. I just want to be able to push them aside, file them away and never think about them anymore.

"Mimi?"

"Huh?"

I turn my head around to see all the boys, minus Louis who isn't even in the room, staring at me expectantly. I seem to do that a lot, get so lost in my thoughts that never here what the boys are saying. I know that it annoys them quite a lot but, as much as I try, I can never seem to stop doing it.

I see Liam shake his head, a small smile on his face, "We said, are you hungry?"

That's when I feel my stomach growl slightly, "Yeah."

"I'll get you some of the pizza we left for you," Liam says while getting up and walking off to the kitchen.

"Well in reality, we had to hide it from Niall because he would have eaten it all," Harry jokes.

I see Niall pout of the corner of my eye, causing me to let out a small giggle. These boys are just so cute. Not in that way I mean in the way that when you look at a baby you call them cute. That is what I mean. Not the attractive cute if you catch my drift.

God, all these words being exactly the same but having different meaning. It really does my head in.

Considering I did extension two English at school, you would think that I should be good at telling the different between two words spelt the same. But nope. I am honestly so terrible at it I'm not even joking. These boys are probably better at it then me and they...well, they're boys. Not much explanation needed is there.

"Here you go love," Liam mumbles as he hands me the plate.

"Thanks LiLi!"

I dig into my pizza, taking a huge bite and savouring the flavour of the tomato paste sauce and taking in the feel of the soft dough. I really have missed pizza. I mean, it's only been two weeks but I really love pizza. It's like my life, other than butter chicken and naan bread. But still, if this was the only food in the world, I would be happy.

"I'm guessing you are enjoying that then?" Harry chuckles.

I look up at him, send him a big grin before turning back to my pizza. These boys don't understand how bad that hospital food was. I mean, it wasn't bad as in it tasted gross. It was bad in the sense that it wasn't what I was craving and it was always the same sort of stuff.

I need variety in my life people!

"Does anyone know where Lou is?" Niall asks, breaking the silence, "I haven't seen him in a while."

When nobody answers, I peek up through my lashes to see Liam and Harry staring at me, an uncomfortable look on their faces. Here was go again, not wanting to tell me because they think that it will hurt me or upset me. Probably won't, just saying.

I mean, sure, Louis sort of broke my heart but it's not like I'm in love with him so it honestly isn't that bad. Now, if I was in love with him and told me that, I would probably be heartbroken, hiding up in my room as I cry, eat ice-cream and watch sad movies.

But I'm not in love with him so I'm not doing that. Instead, I am taking control of my life and acting as if it hasn't affected me at all. When in reality, it has. I may put up this brave poker face but deep down, I'm hurting. I just don't want to tell the boys. They don't need more stress on their shoulders. Dealing with me and my lost memories is enough.

"Boys, I can take a little hit. And honestly, I don't care if you talk about him while I'm in the room. It's not like I was in love with him. I'll just build a bridge and get over it. In fact, I already am!"

When I mention me not being in love with Louis, I swear I see all three boys share a hesitant, almost heartbroken look. I have no idea what for but it honestly crept me out just a little bit. I mean, they were so in sync it was scary. Just the way they slowly turned there heads to look at one and other before going back to look as if nothing was wrong, it was weird to say the least.

"Well I guess if you're okay with it..." Liam trails off.

"I'm fine Li."

"Louis went clubbing. He wanted to meet some girls of something. He was in such a rush and was talking so quickly I barely understood a word he said."


Louis Louis Louis.

You silly jerk! Don't do this to Mimi! Her poor little heart can't take it and quite frankly, she doesn't deserve to be thrown through the ringer like this :(

Moving on...

I GOT MY PINTEREST TO WORK AGAIN! HALLELUJAH! 

I BOUGH FOUR NEW BOOKS TODAY! IAM SOOOOO HAPPY! Even though I still have like fifty million other books I haven't read yet but plan too, I'm still pumped. SO the books I got were:

Of Poseidon by Anna Banks

Akarnae by Lynette Noni

Vampire Academy #1 by Richelle Mead

Soundless by Richelle Mean

OMG! I JUST NOTICED THAT TWO OF THEM HAVE THE SAME LAST NAME! COINCIDENT, I THINK NOT! IT WAS DESTINED TO BE!

Hahaha, I am so crazy right now. I guess I'm just on a high because I swear it's taking me longer to write this authors note than it took to write the actual chapter. I think it only took me like ten minutes! NEW RECORD!

QOTC: What is you favourite, no Wattpad/fan fiction, book of all time?

I don't have a favourite because I am a huge book nerd but I do have a few faves on my list. If you ever need a book reccomendation, just message me or go check out my Goodreads account. All the books I like and am interested in are on there. You can fins the link to it on my account page thing in the conversations.


ILYSM!


SWAG ON!


~ TJ xoxoxoxo



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