Masquerade (Liam Payne)

Chapter 37 ~ Liam

Chapter 37 ~ Liam

The European tour is finally over and we have our break of a few weeks before we carry on with the American tour, but still we’re leaving to the States tomorrow for the VMAs and I thought it would be great to visit You Matter before leaving. I always make sure to call Roxy before going, just so I won’t run into Tammy. It would be awkward and I’m not ready to see her, yet. Now that we have a break I’ll try to visit some hospitals and I’ve talked to Management about starting a charity for kids with kidney problems, like Tammy suggested long time ago.

It’s been a long time since we had our fallout and I’m doing better, but still, it’s not the same. I didn’t react like this when Danielle and I broke up, and I had been with her for years. With Tammy we weren’t together for a month and I still miss her. I can’t lie to myself, sometimes I wake up and wish I had her by my side and I wonder how she is doing, but I still can’t forget what she did. Sometimes I really hate my pride. But I guess she’s doing fine, Prodigy has become incredible famous after that video Kay made for them and their latest single. They are even going to the VMAs and I know it’s going to be awkward because I’ll be there, too, but so will be many other people. I’m sure I can manage to avoid her.

Roxy is happy to see me and so are the other kids, we play and I bring them loads of presents. Despite this place reminds of Tammy, the kids help me not to think of her. Still, I can’t manage to come here as often as I would. It’s still painful somehow. Maybe one day I’ll be able to see Tammy and not think of what she did, maybe one day I won’t feel torn apart when I think of her. Until that day comes, I can’t visit You Matter as frequently as I wish.

Rose comes running to me, and I must admit, she is the one I’ve missed the most and when I hug her, I feel a little bit better.

Everything else seems to work perfectly around me. Kay and Louis fixed their differences and they are happy now, happily together. And Louis is definitely back to himself. He is not the same guy, but he is happy again. He jokes, he laughs, he shares with us, he is the nicest to the fans and I think everyone is turning a Louis girl now. Kay has had an incredible impact on Louis’ behaviour and the fans love her. All Louis’ bitterness is gone and it’s really nice to have him around. He always cheers me up. All the lads are doing great, too, and it’s seems that I’m the only one who has stayed behind. But when I hug little Rose I feel better. I feel like time hasn’t passed by.

“How have you been, love? I’m sorry I didn’t come sooner. Been a bit busy,” I tell her and she nods, still not saying a single word. I wonder if one day she’ll talk. “Let’s go play with the others? I brought you a present.”

She smiles but there’s something off in her smile and that makes me unease, but I let it drop. I spend my afternoon in the charity, playing and making the kids laugh. Hearing them makes me feel better and now I understand a bit better why Tammy takes part in so many charities. After what she’s been through, after living with that emptiness in your chest for so long, kids bring you happiness again. Seeing them happy makes you happy. I get why she is kind of addicted to charities now. Being with the kids makes me feel better.

When I’m about to go and after I’ve said goodbye to everyone, Rose grabs my wrist and stops me. “Something wrong, love?” I ask her and I see her hugging her doll a bit tighter.

“Why-why don’t you love Tammy anymore?” She asks and I’m not the only one to gasp, my eyes are wide open as I hear her speak for the first time since I met her. I look at Roxy and I see how tears start to form in her eyes.

I kneel to be at the same height as I say, “It’s not that… She… we make mistakes and things don’t always work.” I try to explain but she looks confused.