Masquerade (Liam Payne)

Chapter 7 ~ Liam

Chapter 7 ~ Liam

When they say looks deceive you, I’m sure they are thinking of Tammy. In one afternoon she has confused me so much that I’m not sure what to think about her anymore. I met her a few weeks ago and she was the most awful person I’ve ever met, but today she is completely different. When she speaks to all these kids, when she encourages them to be whatever they want because nothing can stop them… I can’t see the girl I met the first time. She makes you think she is a complete bitch, that she is the rebel rockstar who doesn’t give a fuck… but then she is in a charity for kids with troubled infancies and she is the one who worries the most, she is the sweetest with all of them, and the one who knows exactly what to say to make them have hope again.

Who is this girl who can change so much? Who is this girl that hides part of herself and only shows what she wants to show? Why does she change so much when one of the kids talks to her? Why did she look about to cry when that girl mentioned the good mother issue? Is she afraid of being a mother like Moni?

I have so many questions and the longest I stare at her, the more questions flood my mind. I know there’s a lot more than what she lets everyone see and I can’t help wondering why and what she is hiding. I’m sure that if I ask her, she will never tell me. Probably she will hurt me. But I really, really need to know.

After so long, I finally find a girl that catches my attention, someone that intrigues me. Certainly, Tammy doesn’t do it in the way I would have expected, but I can’t stop asking questions about her, wanting to know her better. I want her to remove all her masks and let me see the real Tammy, but I know that won’t be easy. Maybe it’s impossible, but I have to try.

That’s one of the reasons why I accepted to play with her band for these kids. The first reason is the kids, because this gig will make them happy. And the fact that I want to know her better is also why I don’t leave her side and I barely mind that she is using me as her punching bag. She is making fun of me to bring smiles to the kids’ faces. And that’s why when she says, “Yeah, but Noob here doesn’t want me, so I’m safe. Right, Noob? I’m too much for you,” I find myself replying with all honesty what I really think.

“You never know, Tammy. You never know.”

Because I’m not sure if I want her but I know I don’t want her away anymore.

“Are you f–” she cuts herself off before she can curse in front of the kids “freaking kidding me? What does that mean?” She demands and my smile grows wider.

“I mean, you’re a different girl. Maybe I like you,” I say and her eyes only show shock and a bit of hatred.

“Don’t tell me that now you’re my groupie after you saw me performing,” she laughs and looks at the kid next to her, Ray. He smiles at her, too. “I have many of those already, I don’t need one with the smile of a puppy, right?” That comment makes everyone laugh, even I smile.

“Maybe,” is all I say and her head snaps in my direction, not pleased with my answer.

It’s good she sees she doesn’t have full control over everything. There are things about me that she can’t control and she needs to bear with that.

Tammy glares daggers at me but she drops the matter and decides to change the topic. I still can’t take my eyes off of her, trying to figure her out, trying to find everything that she is hiding under the mask of a rebel and rude rockstar. She is more than that, I know that now.

* * * * *

During the following days and before we head to other cities of Great Britain, I visit the charity several times. My bond with little Rose is strong and beautiful. She still hasn’t said a single word but when she sees me, she smiles brightly and hugs me tightly. She doesn’t leave my side until I have to go.