Masquerade (Liam Payne)

Chapter 28 ~ Tammy

Chapter 28 ~ Tammy

He’s been away two days but I miss him terribly. I never thought it would be possible for me to feel like this, but here I am, checking my phone all the time, waiting for a text. Talking to him gives me strengths to keep fighting, to put myself together and get back to my life as I know it.

Ray is not here anymore, but I get to talk to him. I found out the orphanage where he is staying and I call there and because I talked to Marlene, the people in that orphanage allow me to speak to him. They say I can call only once a day. I make him promise me that he will try his hardest to make it work and that he has to hope for the best. I don’t tell him about my plans on trying to adopt him because I don’t want him get disappointed later if it doesn’t work out.

I’ve always known one thing in my life for sure and that’s I want to be a mother, and not any mother, I want to be a good mother. I want to love my child with all my soul, to give that little creature everything so he or she will always feel important. I would never make her or him feel unwanted like I felt. I would be all what my parents weren’t with me. That has always been my biggest dream, even bigger than my career. So I know if I adopt Ray I would give him everything, I would do anything to mend his past and give him the love his father hasn’t given him. I just hope this works. I’m not afraid of becoming a mother now, as long as he is safe. It wasn’t my plan to become a mum now, but for Ray I would do it.

To keep my mind out of this, I go back to work. Ray is always in my mind, but I know that I have to wait before applying for the adoption. And whilst I wait, I keep myself busy with the band. Janet already told us all the things she has prepared for us, all the places we’re going to visit and how much we’ll work on our second album. The idea is to make it even better so it would take us outside the UK.

Although I pay attention to everything our manager say, I’m texting Liam all the time, giggling even when I try to control myself. Joking with him—pff, just talking to him makes me happy. I wish he were here but just like I have to focus on my band, he has to do the same and right now he has to be in Rome, recording videos of how Kay yells at Louis for being a dick.

Man, that was funny. Poor Kay though. I bet she doesn’t even have a date with him but she said that only to make him more jealous so he would accept his feelings. Kay is so transparent. And so is Louis.

Emma and Leanne won’t stop teasing me about this whole thing with Liam. Emma even stole my phone just to text Liam! That whore. I know my bite still hurts and I’m glad. Even Sky laughs at me for texting Liam and they have been making fun out of me the whole day.

“I can’t believe this day’s finally come! Our little Tammy is finally becoming a girl!” Leanne dramatises and I roll my eyes.

“I’ve always been a girl,” I state matter-of-factly.

“Yeah, but an awful girl with no manners and who acts more like a boy than like a girl,” she corrects and I roll my eyes again. Okay, it’s true I am not the girliest chick around, but I’m not that bad. “And you would never giggle ‘cos you got a text from a guy. That’s pretty epic and I feel like crying.” The blonde takes her hand to her chest and dramatically wipes invisible tears away.

“You’re being foolish,” I tell them but I betray myself when I get another text from Liam and the smile comes to my lips without asking me first.

LOUIS JUST INFORMED US THAT WE’RE PLAYING FOOTBALL AGAINST DAVE. I THINK HE WENT MAD ALREADY —NOOB

I DON’T FEEL LIKE PLAYING FOOTBALL THOU. I THINK I’M COMING DOWN WITH SOMETHING :( —NOOB