Love, Lies, Secrets and Manipulation (Divergent/Eric OC)

54. The Calm After The Storm

(Natalie's POV)

I awake with what feels like puffy eyes and a headache. Eric's light snoring tells me he's still asleep, but I turn my head to look at him, anyway.

Behind me he lies with his face resting against my arm and shoulder. My body feels sore from lying crooked on my side like this, but I don't want to move him. He looks peaceful. Unbothered.

I think back to what happened last night. Although I woke up alive this morning, I don't ever want to have to re-live that night again. It was the scariest night of my existence thus far. No lie, there was more than just one time where I didn't think I'd even live to see another day.

I look over to the left to admire the warm sunlight that's shining in through the window. This must be the first sunrise I've ever truly been thankful for. I'd get up to stand in front of the window and look out, but I don't want to wake Eric. He looks like he needs the rest.

I think about everything we've been through. From the moment we layed eyes on each other to this very moment of us lying in bed this morning. It almost feels unreal—to still be here. It feels like a dream. Maybe this is just my imagination at work. Maybe I'm not really here at all.

But I am. I am here. I can feel the skin of my face, my own flesh and warmth. It's real. I'm still here. And so is he.

I can't yet grasp the concept of Eric choosing me. That wasn't how I imagined things turning out. His leadership position is the most important thing in the world to him. It's what makes him "Eric". So the thought of him choosing me over all of it still scares me, because it doesn't even feel possible.

I thought the universe was trying to tell us we're not meant to be together. First he cheated on me with Jacob's girlfriend, then I learned he was the one who suggested they cheat. Then, once I finally got to a place where I was working on forgiving him, I learned the truth about who he really was—a Dauntless leader who's helped Jeanine get rid of Divergents. It honestly scared me, beyond what I could ever admit. Distancing myself from him was the only way I knew how to cope with it. I had to force myself to believe it was for the best, and that it was never going to work out between us, anyway.

I shoved my feelings for him down into a deep, dark hole where I knew they wouldn't get in the way of what was important—which was my existence. But then he walked right back into my life and saved me, and all those feelings just came rushing back like a heavy wind trying to knock me down. Him and I finding our way back to each other was inevitable. That's obvious now.

Now it's just a matter of what's to happen next.

°°°

(Eric's POV)

I stir as I feel myself waking up. Then I open my eyes. I look up to see Natalie already staring at me. She looks a bit nervous.

"Hey," I whisper. I then clear my throat so that it's not so groggy. I don't want to scare her any more than she probably already is.

"Hi," she whispers back, and I mentally sigh out of relief. At least she's not trying to bolt out of the door. Yet.

"You okay?" I ask softly.

She nods just the slightest bit. "I think so," she replies in a soft whisper. Then she slowly looks away and lets out a sigh.

I wait for her to speak again, but she only remains silent. She looks unsure of what to say or do.

Slowly, my hand reaches up to grab a hold of hers, and our fingers gently interlace together. She stares down at them for a while, up until her eyelids close. Then I feel her gently squeezing my hand.