My neighbor | Sam Pottorff

Chapter 55

~Jade's POV~
I didn't have a problem with that being awkward, but I mean, since when was Ashton ever that awakward. It made no sense to me in my mind, which recently that was normal. My mind was full of random stuff that was useless. I couldn't even remember half the things I used to know. I still hadn't figured out if that was a bad thing, or good. Before anyone could notice, or well I hope before anyone could, I snapped out of my thoughts. I looked straight ahead, seeing Luke and Sam talking. I couldn't quite hear what the were saying. I tried to read there lips, but since im the worst person at doing that, all I could say that they were saying was a bunch of words that weren't words. I was that bad at it. I walked over to Jenn, her being the only one that wasn't already in a conversation.

~8:45~
"Jade come on your performing in 15!" A voice called out from the outside of the dressing room door. I was sitting in the corner of the room, crying. I was scared. I wanted to perform yes, but what if someone didn't like it and literally boo'd? What if I slipped up a lyric? What if- before I could finish my train of thought, someone walked in the room. I didn't know who. I buried my face in my knees, so that I didn't look at them. They couldn't see my face, I couldn't see theirs. It worked out perfectly. Or at least for my part.
"Jade?" A voice called out. I reconize do it, but then again, I didn't want to put the name with the voice.
"Mhm?" I called out, my face still buried and hidden.
"Are you crying?" The voice asked me. I could hear that he was now sitting on something, I wasn't sure but he definitely was. I was still seated on the floor in the corner, hiding my face as if I was a little kid and in trouble.
"No." I mumbled under my breath. I needed to lie. I couldn't tell whoever it was i was crying, it just wasn't right.
"You are. Your voice gets high when you are." The voice reminded me, and I didn't look up. He picked me up, and sat me on the couch beside him, uncovering my face. Sam. Of course.
"Baby please don't cry. Why are you sad? Did someone say something to you?" Sam questioned me, and I shook my head no.
"Did someone hurt you?" Sam questioned, I gave him the same response. I shook my head no.
"Did you do something?" He questioned again. I shook my head no.
"Jade were not playing the yes or no question game, I want answers. What's wrong?" Sam asked, wrapping his arms around me.
"Everything." I whispered quietly, that wasn't a lie. Everything in my life right now, was a mess. Of course I wouldn't explain every little detail to him, but still.
"What do you mean? Aren't you doing what you want to do?" He questioned.
"I mean im unhappy Sam! Why can't you just accept the fact that at times you don't feel like it. You don't feel up to it. You just want to crawl in a hole and never leave it! Why can't you just understand that? Why can't you? I mean honesty, im just as much human as you are! I don't want you to treat me like I'm special because im not! Im worthless Sam! I don't even know why you talk to me! I don't know why Jenn talks to me! I don't know why 5sos talk to me! Okay you guys probably just feel sorry for me or something like that, and you wish you can help me, but you can't. You can't fix something that's not meant to be fixed. Me. Im unfixable, so stop trying now, I mean you'll just be wasting your time like you are now. You're just sitting her and waiting for me to get better, but im not going to. Im just going to get worse and worse the more you try. I know you dont want to hear that or see that happen, but it's the truth. Im sorry to admit it to your face, but I should do it. I shoudnt write a stupid letter. If I tell you to your face, maybe you'll rememeber it. If you do, that would be great! It would be amazing! So just rememeber it next time you feel sorry for me, don't even bother talking to me!" I told him.
Sam stood up, and walked to the door, opening it, and saying,"You go on stage in 5 minutes." Then the door closed. And I closed my eyes. I didn't close them for the final time, but im sure it will be close.

{10.5k+ reads! OH MY GOD THATS AMAZING! I had no idea so many of you were reading this story! I mean when I first started I expected like 5 reads, but now that many?!?! Omg I can't believe it! Thank you to everyone who has read it, and to everyone who is reading it! Also im super sorry for the late update. It took forever. Im running out of ideas, so I might get a cowriter for this, idk, message me if your interested! See you next chapter!}