All You Gotta Do Is Say Yes

You Gotta Believe by Mary J Blidge

Warning this chapter contains drug use, sexual assault, and attempted suicide. Please read with caution.

Saturday December 16th

Euphoria

I had won my first basketball game yesterday. My baby cheered me on the whole time even when I missed one of my shot's. My coach congratulated me after the game and groped my butt when he pulled me in for a hug. He let go once he saw my baby walking over to me with flowers and a card she made by hand. That whole night I felt so disgusted. Niecey tried to get me to talk but all I did was cuddle her till I fell asleep. I honestly don't know what to do.

It is now around 5 pm about now and I haven't been seeing my princess due to the fact she is practicing for the Martin Luther King parade. Her squad is gonna be marching with the band for the parade. Even though she's busy she takes the time to check on me everyday. She says she knows I'm hiding something and she's gonna get it out of me. But I don't know how to tell her.

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Niecey

I turn 18 in two months, YAY, I can't wait, I don't know what my mom has planned this year. Today I had practice for our upcoming parade in January, Jaliyah was killing me today but I held my head up finishing our routines ready to head home. My dad and grandma has also been calling me recently trying to get me to go on a date with Jace or Jimmy, whatever his name is. So I blocked them because they were frustrating me. I also noticed after Phori's first game she was acting pretty weird. She cuddled me all night not wanting me to let go, I also woke up in the middle of the night hearing her cry in her sleep. Ever since then she has been keeping her distance but why ?

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Jaliyah

I walk home feeling my feet crumble in pain. My dad is the girl's and boy's basketball coach so he doesn't be home much. I would call my cousin to come pick me up but he's a song artist and music engineer in a studio, so I know he is busy. Opening the front door I look around our beat up old house seeing junk everywhere. My mom left us for drugs so my dad takes it out on me by drinking and being abusive.

I also take care of my youngest sister Leh'auni who's also a teenager, she's a smart chubby girl who keeps her head in the books. I smile thinking Auni reminds me of Denise from school. I was hurt and embarrassed when she found someone else but I couldn't even be mad at her no more. I turned her away and cause her much pain due to me being childish all I can do is step back and let her be happy.

After I take my shower I head to clean up our house the best way I can. My dad demanded I make dinner tonight so I went and grabbed my shoe box with a few bucks to make something quick tonight. I looked in the fridge seeing absolutely nothing so I put the money in my pocket so I can walk to the store. As on cue my cousin's orange scat pack pulls up in the driveway. I always admired his car I wish I could drive.

"Hey cuzzo, where you going ?" He asks leaning on his drivers side car door.

"I'm heading to the store so I can make dinner tonight before my dad get's home." He nods his head telling me to get in the car so he can take me to the store.

Arriving at the store I get out just to see my cousin getting out too. "Where you going ?"
I asked looking confused. "I'm coming with you silly, and plus one of my little shi work here, so I hope she's getting off soon." I shake my head knowing if he continues at this rate he gone be burning and itching.

After getting everything I need to make dinner I also saw I had enough money to get a few frozen dinners and breakfast items. I shake my head seeing my cousin throw snacks in the buggy. "I hope you know I don't have enough money for that." He shakes his head smiling showing off his gold brackets on his braces. "Don't worry about that I got it, in fact get some more stuff to put in the house." I smile shaking my head I really love my cousin.

After getting our things he helped me by putting our groceries up. "Oh cuzzo I was meaning to ask you who retwisted your hair ?" He smiles showing his dimples. "This girl from Instagram, her page name is StylesbyDee. I looked on her page seeing she did hair pretty good so I booked with her. My barber went out of town that day so she cut my hair for me too." He scratches his neck pulling out pre rolled blunts from pocket. I nod my head getting up to go cook.

"You have her page ?" I yelled from the kitchen.

"Yeah well I found her main page too, it's called thatgurlNiecey." I drop the spoon hearing that username. That's Denise page, she does hair ?

"You aight in there cousin ?" I scream back insuring him I was ok. I smile thinking she's so talented but my smile drops realizing I have to let her go.

After finishing dinner me and my cousin smoked a few blunts until he had to leave. I put some food up for everyone once they come home. Auni is at a sleepover at this girl house, so I made sure to get as much contact information I can because I don't play that.

I called one of my sneaky links seeing if they wanna meet tonight. Hearing his voice it also sounded like a guy's voice in the background. "Hey Jason I was wondering if I can come over ?"
He looks at the camera wide eyed then start checking his surroundings. "Ummm I'm busy so no. But maybe some other time, I gotta go."
I furrow my eyebrows feeling my arousal go away. Damn I can't get no dick tonight.

I brush my teeth preparing for bed. Getting under my covers I reach over to turn off my lamp on my nightstand. Me and my sister share a room so it get's lonely without her. Hearing the door creak I look up to see my father stumbling in drunk with his clothes disheveled. I start silently crying thinking 'no not again'.

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Euphoria

Ion even think I wanna play basketball anymore. My coach took it too far, I saw the stares and lip biting but I thought nothing of it. I regret not telling my baby because I tell her everything, well almost everything. Lying in my bed I decline the fifth call from Niecey. I don't feel like talking today. I bring my knees to my chest feeling a panic attack come. Breathing hard I see spots on my vision as I get up looking for my medicine. I grab my 'Zoloft' swallowing the pill with no water in sight. I slide down the wall feeling tears brim my eyes. YOU GOTTA BELIEVE me when I tell you the truth baby.

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*Contains drug abuse*

Niecey

After calling my baby for a fifth time it kept going to voicemail. I start panicking as my mind keeps telling me to find something to fix my problems. But I can't I've been sober for a year now. Feeling tears coming down my face I run to my mom's room seeing it locked. Panicking I use my shoulder to break down the door. I couldn't use the five pills I took that day because I threw them away due to Phori making me happy. Looking through her jewelry box I grab the bottle 'Prozac' smiling. I just need to feel again. Exiting the room I shut my door sliding down the wall bringing my knees to my chest. Clutching my shoulder in pain I crack open the bottle feeling about 10 of the tiny pills slide slowly down my throat. Feeling woozy my body slumps to the floor coughing up vomit and blood. It was nice I loved while on this rental we call a planet. I love you baby.

Wow this chapter is so sad. If you're wondering Niecey is a character based on me although I'm straight I suffer from the same disorders as her. So the story contains a little bit of my life. I did one day have to be escorted to the hospital due to taking medicinal drugs. Due to me taking so much they kept me under watch until an ambulance came to take me to a mental health facility. I am now going on 3 months of being home so yeah.

Thank you for reading pookies vote and comment.