Malfoy | A Draco Malfoy Fanfiction 18+

f i f t y - t h r e e

A part of me feels relief as Draco has shown up, and the other wishing he hadn't. I'm too stressed, too anxious, and with the letters it doesn't really matter anymore if he finds something out, but I can't just tell him.

I can never tell him.

"I was in the neighborhood" he says, he looks at my face, expecting to see a happy expression after not seeing each other over the last few days, but instead sees a grim expression, and stares at me, trying to figure out if anything is up.

"Where have you been?" I ask as he walks closer dropping his head on my shoulder, his hands settling on my back.

"I had some stuff going on." he replies vaguely, but I instinctively wrapped my arms around his figure.

"Right" I say trying to hide my sarcasm. 

He looks different these days, his eyes are more tired, the dark circles around them have deepened, he looked more pale than usual, most of the times he just looked exausted.

He lets out a deep sigh, and buries his head into my neck. "You look exausted..." I say.

He lets out an exhales heavily, leaning against me more, his arms tightening up around my waist.

"I am..." his voice hoarse as if he is just exhausted, or he wasn't getting enough sleep.

I try to rub his back a little "What happened?" I ask  to probe for more information, but he shuts down the line of query almost immediately.

"I can't tell you." He says

I knew it. I knew his answer and yet I asked just to try my luck, knowing damn well his answer is never going to change.

"Is it something serious?" I ask him, even though I know he will never tell me. I have a sinking feeling though, why can't he be telling me? why does he always have this air of mystery around him?

"Nothing you need to worry about," he says pulling his up to get a look at my face.

I smile weakly at him, he gives me that look, as if he understands that I know better but can't do anything about it either. He never told me things, ever, and this is no different.

This is the same thing he said to me months ago, when he started disappearing from Hogwarts for long periods of time, when he didn't tell me where he was going; and I accepted it then, so why am I trying to get something out of him now?

"I'll tell you if it's something you need to know," he says, like this is supposed to reassure me, but I know better.

"Sure," I reply, the sarcastic side of me coming back, he gives me another look before hugging me close to him, squeezing slightly, a familiar way of letting me know that he missed me.

It's another thing he used to do. Hug me. He wouldn't tell me certain things, he kept his secrets, but when we were together, he always made sure to hug me. He knew how much physical affection means me to me, how starved of physical contact I was because of how isolated I was, he knew all this.

The only thing is, in the past, those hugs felt more special, but now, they feel... different, they feel a bit less... less everything. Little less of him, like he's trying to forget something.

We pull away after few seconds, as she says "Thea -"

I raise an eyebrow.

He looks away for a second, and then fixes his gaze back at me "uh my family knows about us, they found out few days ago" he says, but his mouth dries up just as he's about to say more and he swallows.