"hey nerd" "hey doofus" -rodrick x reader

Chapter Ten: Would, Could, Should

Y/N laid in her bed, staring at her painfully boring ceiling. It had been days since she'd spoken to Rodrick and in those span of days, she had not been the same.
She was the one avoiding him so she had no reason to be upset with him but part of her was hoping that maybe he would be the one to initiate a conversation.
She sighed and rolled over on her side. She was avoiding him for a good reason. That's what she told herself anyway.
The truth is, Y/N was afraid of what Ben said. What if she really did like Rodrick and she really was in denial?
She hid her face in her hands.
There was nothing wrong with her liking Rodrick, he was a sweet, genuine person underneath. Not only that but he had a great sense of humour, style and music. And she had to admit, he would be the perfect match for her. Yet that was what scared her the most. He was too sweet, too kindhearted, too gentle, too perfect for her. And if something went down hill, then she wouldn't just be losing the perfect partner but also the perfect friend.
She let out another sigh and shook her head. She couldn't imagine losing him.
A loud chime echoed through her room. She sat up and grabbed her phone from her nightstand. She felt her heart race and her stomach twist into a knot at the notification.
It was from Rodrick.
She quickly punched in her passcode and went into her messaging app.

doofus:) : hey
Y/N: Hi
doofus:) : sorry if i'm bothering you i just want to know if everything's okay
Y/N: Everything's good. How about you? Are things okay with you?
doofus:) : ya i'm good
doofus:) : i have a question tho
Y/N: Yes?
doofus:) : can you give me a name?
Y/N: For what?
doofus:) : just for something
Y/N: How about Bartholomew?
doofus:) : ew
doofus:) : anuthing but that
doofus:) : anything*
doofus:) : i need a good name but one you dont hear often
Y/N: Hmmm, how about Noel? Like Christmas in French
doofus:) : i like it
doofus:) : thank you
Y/N: Ofc, ofc. Is that everything you wanted to ask me?
doofus:) : no

Y/N's heart hammered in her chest. What could he want to ask her? She felt blush creep onto her cheeks but she shook her head. Why is she acting like this? She's not obsessed with him.

doofus:) : wanna hang out sometime soon?
Y/N: Sure! Where to?
doofus:) : we could just drive around in my van
doofus:) : i miss hanging out with you

Y/N smiled. She missed being with him too. She frowned at herself. She felt like such a creep.

Y/N: That sounds good to me. When would you like to hangout?
doofus:) : tmr? if your not busy
Y/N: I shouldn't be so yes
doofus:) : perfect
doofus:) : btw thanks for the name y/n it sounds rlly nice
Y/N: Of course, no problem
doofus:) : well i should go now can't wait to see you tmr
Y/N: Same here
doofus:) : goodnight y/n sleep well
Y/N: Goodnight, Rodrick, sweet dreams

She wanted to throw her phone at the wall. But she settled for laying it on her night stand. She lay back again, staring at the ceiling, thinking of how much she criticized herself when messaging Rodrick. She had never done that before. What was making her so self-conscious? Her thoughts drifted to what Ben said to her in the cafeteria and she groaned. It was his fault. He was getting into her head. He was trying to make her feel like she had to "confess" to something. Which she would never do because she didn't like Rodrick like that. Did she?
She wanted to hit herself at that thought.
She did not. He was a friend. A close friend. Perhaps a best friend. Nothing more. Nothing more. Nothing more. Nothing more.... right?
She held her hands up to her face once more, suppressing a scream.
Y/N thought about his goofy grin, his beautiful tousled hair, his dark eyes, his clothes, his jokes, the time he had made his bed for her, the time he brushed crumbs off her seat, the time he got juice for her, the times he waited for her to buckle her seatbelt before he started driving, how slow and steady he went while driving to ensure her safety, how he was nice to her mom and she completely stopped. She stopped breathing, she stopped moving, she stopped blinking and she stopped thinking jumbled thoughts.
Only one thought crossed her mind. It was loud enough to drown out the rest of the thoughts and powerful enough to stop her from doing anything.
I like Rodrick.
She sat upright and clasped a hand to her mouth, shocked.
She shook her head, fighting with herself. No, no, no, no, no, no.
She couldn't. She wouldn't. She shouldn't.
He was her best friend and she shouldn't ask for more than that. She didn't believe she deserved more than that. Not with him anyway. He was too perfect for her.
She needed to cry, to scream, to hit, to kick, to punch, to tell—
No. She wouldn't tell. She couldn't tell. She shouldn't tell. She would not breath any of this to anyone. Especially not Rodrick.
She lay back in the bed and closed her eyes. She wouldn't be able to deal with this. She couldn't be able to deal with this. She shouldn't be able to deal with this.
But despite all of those terrible thoughts, she feel asleep to the thought of him. To thought that maybe, in some other universe things would work out. That things could work out. That things should work out.