45. Never

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"I'm glad she is gone." Avalon decided. Viserys chuckled. "What?"

"I didnt expect that from you, you were always pro Rhaenyra." Viserys admitted.

"Well she's a moody little topic." Avalon corrected.

"Rhaenyra is a topic." Viserys murmured. "How is Alicent?"

"Sleeping. That birth took a lot of out of her. Its a beautiful name you two picked." Avalon added. "Helaena..." Viserys smiled grabbing her hand. She swallowed the lump rising in her throat.

"Whats wrong?" Viserys questioned.

"I... was just thinking about the future recently." Avalon admitted.

"What future?" Viserys mused.

"Our future, my future." Avalon answered.

"Avalon-"

"I..." She hesitated again. "Vis, I know the longer we keep doing this... the more I'm going to want you and Alicent forever and I'm... I'm never going to get a family of my own, a child that the world can see as mine."

"Avalon if this is about what Rhaenyra said-"

"It is and it isnt." Avalon countered. "I..." she let out a shaky breath and Viserys hated that she couldnt make her feel better.

"avalon, honey-"

"Vis, I love you, I love you so much and i love how we have grown." Avalon assured. "How close we have gotten but... what if I'm missing out on- on... more."

"Avalon-"

"I got a message from Brandon Stark... I got... Lord Otto showed me the ravens that came in for my hand." Avalon added. Viserys sighed shaking his head.

"I'm going to tell you something and you have to promise not to be mad."

"Why? What did you do?" Avalon countered.

'Avalon." Viserys begged.

"Fine, I promise, now what did you do?" Avalon demanded.

"I have been burning the ravens- not the birds themselves," He added quickly. "The notes they carry. I... I didnt want you to... I didnt want to lose you." Viserys admitted. "I'm sorry sweetie."

"I'm not mad I just think I should probably start considering possibilities."

"Possibilities." Viserys rasped as if she had just punched him.

"Oh Viserys please dont be mad at me, you knew this was coming." Avalon countered.

"I didnt." Viserys corrected. "I just pushed the future aside because I love what we have."

"I do to but I'm your heir and I need a husband and an heir of my own." Avalon reminded him. "I should go check on Alicent,'' she added kissing viserys cheek. "We can discuss-"

"What of Brandon Stark?"

"I invited him back to the capital..." Avalon admitted. "He invited me back to Winterfell."

"Are you going to go?" Viserys questioned softly.

"I dont know yet." Avalon countered. "I think I should, if not for marriage proposals to see Cregan and Rickard again too." Viserys nodded.

Alicent wanted to cry, Aegon did cry when Avalon got on Mouse without him.

"NO!" Aegon wailed reaching for her. "NO! I come too!" Aegon begged running towards Mouse and banging little hands on his scales. Mouse stared down at Aegon curiously.

"I will be back." Avalon assured.

"NO!" Aegon's little tears made Avalon's heart ache, she couldnt leave him. She didnt know why she was even considering leaving for a few days, she had been with Aegon every day since he was born. She couldnt leave him. She loved him too much. She picked him and he cried into her.

"No leave." He whimpered. "No leave." He begged. Alicent felt how Aegon looked. "Nev... leave... me." Aegon hyperventilated into her.

"I'm right here, breath with me baby," Avalon begged. "Breathe in the flowers." She took a deep breath and Alicent followed their lead as she moved to them. Aegon sucked in a deep breath to, he looked like he was about to sneeze. "And blow out the candles." Aegon whooshed out a breath.

"I'm not going anywhere." Avalon assured, she would write Brandon and tell him she was sorry but she could leave right now, her family needed her. "This is home."

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