We Are Open | PJM/OT7 X OC ✔️

46. Much Needed Advice

Luella's 1st Person POV

It's been six days since I last saw Jimin at the hotel.

I was so heartbroken when he ended our relationship. But, after talking to Jin, he helped put a lot of things into perspective and he made me realize that, even though I'm terrified of commitment, Jimin is worth delving into a monogamous relationship with. It's a daunting step to take, but I'd rather be with him and only him than not have him in my life at all.

I love Jimin.

I feel like a complete idiot for not realizing it before he walked away. I'm an idiot for letting my fears take over me.

So, other people let me down in the past. It's because those people weren't meant to be in my life in the long run. But, Jimin is worth it all.

Yes, I've seen my mom go from one failed relationship to another, but that hasn't stopped her from continuing to find love.

And, I let someone who I am completely in love with just walk away.

I know I don't need a man to complete me. But, I can't imagine going on adventures without Jimin. And when I have good news and successes in my life, it's Jimin I want to share my great news with. He's the one I want to conquer this world with and to grow old with.

Jimin's the one I want to be with.

So, as soon as I was able to check out of my hotel room, I drove straight to Jimin's home. But, when I arrived, he wasn't home. I knocked on his apartment door just to make sure even though I didn't see his car in his parking spot, which is visible when I drive past it to get to the guest parking lot. I sat in my car and tried calling him a couple times but he didn't pick up. I texted him asking where he was. I stayed in the guest parking lot for a half hour, crying and feeling like I screwed up.

Once I was able to collect myself and calm down from all the crying, I went back to my place and locked myself in my room. I collapsed in my bed and cried some more and eventually passed out.

I woke up early in that evening, with texts and calls from Madison, but of course the first thing I opened up was the only text Jimin sent me.

Jimin:
Luella. I'm sorry. I'm not sure us talking is good for either of us. I need some time and space. Letting you go is one of the hardest things I've ever done. But, I can't force you to be with me, and only me. I just want you to be happy. Just please take care of yourself.

And, that's the last text I received from Jimin. I texted him once, stating that I want to talk to him whenever he's ready. Then, I just let him be. I will respect the fact that he needs time.

It's been six days and I have not received any more responses from him as I had expected. Though, I do now know he is not in the state. How?

On Tuesday night, two days after I last saw him, I reached my breaking point and called his sister, with me in tears because I miss him so much. She told me to come over to her house for dinner the next night. When I made it to her place, Wednesday evening, she had her husband take their kids to her in-laws to give us some privacy.

I told her everything that happened between Jimin and I. I was hesitant but I needed to talk about it and Dalmi made me feel comfortable. She was surprised to find out that we were in an open relationship but didn't judge.

She told me that he actually flew out to their hometown of Bend, Oregon on Sunday. She said that she received a text from him, late Sunday morning, that he was going back there because he needed some time. She asked him if he was okay. He didn't really say much, but that he needed to clear his mind. She assumed it had to do with work or me, but she didn't want to interrogate him and figured he'd open up when he was ready to.