We Are Open | PJM/OT7 X OC ✔️

13. Go Way Back

Yoongi's 1st Person POV

It's close to 9pm on a Tuesday night. I'm sitting at a table in the Rabbit Hole. Luella and I used to hang out at this pub back in the day when we were in college. As soon as we both turned twenty-one, our birthdays ten days apart with her being the older one, we would always go to all the drinking establishments that other fellow college kids would flock to along with our other friends.

Luella and I were inseparable when we were younger. We go way back. When we were in high school, we'd hang out at each other's houses, watching anime or playing video games. We would paint together, with her little sister's best friend, Jungkook, joining us once in a while whenever it was at her house that we'd have paint sessions.

We would go out to local punk/emo/underground hip-hop shows and go out and grab food to eat with our group of friends. She always made sure I came along to gatherings and parties because she felt more comfortable with me being with her when she's in social situations. She used to be slightly awkward in groups and crowds, but I felt like she really got out of her shell when we were in high school. She claims I'm partly someone to be credited for it because I would always remind her not to give a fuck what others think about her. I remember telling her that she just needs to be herself because people would be drawn to her true self- the person she is when I'd hang out with her one-on-one. She's bubbly, quirky, caring and just an all-around positive presence.

She was one of the people in my life who I fully trusted and thought that I could be a hundred percent myself around. She never judges others and I was drawn to that and that's why I become close friends with her. She just had this aura that made me just want to be close with her all the time.

I did develop feelings for her back when we were in high school but I never did anything about it then. There was always something keeping me from confessing to her. For one, I just didn't think she'd see me as anything more than a close friend. Plus, when I was single, she was seeing someone or vice versa.

Then, there was Shawn. I was a bit jealous but I couldn't say much because it seemed that he really made her happy. And, if my best friend was happy, then I had to be, for her. They dated the last year of high school and even tried to stay together their freshman year of college, even though he went to school in Oregon a few hours away from us. Luella saw herself having a future with Shawn but during the second year of college, Shawn would avoid her calls and texts and one night, she received a text from him saying he was done with their relationship. And, he blocked her.

Luella doesn't talk about Shawn. I think she forced herself to forget all the memories she's had with him. It was at that moment when she really decided that she would never commit to just one man for the rest of her life.

She confided in me so much about how heartbroken she was about Shawn and I offered my shoulder for her to cry on. I'll never forget one night when she tried to go on a blind date that one of our mutual friends arranged for her and it was a disaster. She came over to my dorm room and complained about how much a big dull dud the guy was. But, then she told me how she's thankful to have me and that she's grateful to have me as her best friend, the one constant in her life.

It's sweet right? But, at that moment, her words made me feel like I was completely friend-zoned. That same night, I mentally said 'fuck it,' and I confessed to Luella how I've had feelings for her and I told her that we could be more than friends. But, she denied me. Her reason for not accepting my feelings was because she said she could never see herself committing to anyone. She did tell me that I was everything she'd want in a partner but she doesn't believe in being with one person for the rest of her life. She said she was scared that if she and I dated, it could end up badly just like with how all her mom's relationships exes ended up and how her relationship ended so abruptly with Shawn.