The Lucky Doberman

Chapter 67: Why...

More days passed and I realized I didn't have much of a personal life anymore once I noticed I'd do nothing but lay in bed until it was time for me to go to work.

I worked to get my mind off of things and the people there helped with that.

I hoped I'd feel differently about it soon. And that I'd get my life back on track. I missed going out places. I just didn't have the motivation anymore.

Another work day was over and successful, except Chris broke two plates. It was really funny at the time, we still don't know how he's allowed to work here after so much property damage that's just been over the time that I'd been here. I heard a rumor that his uncle owns the place, but I don't know if it's true or not.

I finished gathering my things and was about to head out.

"Hey, Zoe..." Chris called.
I stopped and looked at him. "Yea?"
"Uh...Can I talk to you for a second?"
"Yea, sure."

He gestured for me to walk with him to the entrance of the restaurant so we could talk in private while everyone joked in the kitchen.

"Hey..." he snickered.
"Hi..." I laughed as well and wondered where this was going.
"Um...So you think that I think you're...cool...and everything...right?"
"I'd like to think so. Why? Is that wrong?"
"N-No! No, it's not wrong. I do think that. Yea, I like having you around."
"Oh okay," I snickered.
"I um...I was going somewhere with this..."
"Whenever you're ready." I snorted.
"I was...wondering if...maybe we could be cool...like...together..."
I just stared at him.
"Like...I don't know...at a movie theater or...something..." he offered.
"You want us to get a job at the movie theater?"
"N-No, I meant-..."
I laughed. "I know. I was just kidding."
"Oh...okay..." he scoffed.
"But um...can I...wait a minute?"
"Oh...yea. Yea, sure..."
"It's not you. I recently got out of a um...situation with someone else and...it kind of took a toll on me. And I don't know if I'm ready to try with someone else. I don't want what happened to me to effect you. So I think I'd like to take a break from the dating scene for a bit."
"Right. Completely understandable." He nodded.
"Again, it's not you. If that wouldn't have happened, I would have said yes. I think you're a very nice, very funny guy. And you're very cute." I smiled.
He laughed shyly. "Oh, thanks..."
"Mhm."
"You're very cute too..." he added nervously.
I laughed. "Thank you."
"Yea, but um...that's no problem. I get it. I went through the same thing a while ago. Take your time. No hard feelings."
"Thank you." I nodded.
"Of course. Glad we could talk it out." He smiled.
"Me too."
"Yea..."
"I um...I gotta go..." I stated after checking the time. "But I'll see you later."
"Yea. Right. Sorry. I held you up."
"No, it's okay."
"Drive safe."
"Thanks, you too."
He nodded and we both walked in different directions.

I took a deep breath as I stepped outside. That couldn't have been more awkward, but I'm glad he understood. Chris is a nice guy. And I was honest when I said if what happened between me and Marco hadn't happened, I would've given him a chance. He seems like he'd make a great boyfriend to whoever is lucky enough to have him. They might be down a few dishes, but it's probably worth it.

I had that same feeling I usually did as I walked to my car.

Like I was being followed.
But I wasn't tense so I didn't feel threatened or in danger. Although I'm sure that I should.

Maybe my brain isn't working properly because I'm tired.

I shook it off and hopped in my car to head home.

Hopefully, I'd catch Nikki before she left for the casino.

I made it back and saw her car still parked in the garage then hurried inside.

"Nikki!" I yelled.
"Yes?" She came out as she was adjusting her uniform.
"Guess what?"
"What?"
"Chris asked me out."
"Really?! Well when is it?"
"No, I told him no. I just thought it was a nice gesture."
"Oh..."
"I um...I told him I'm not ready. He understood."
"Well that's nice."
"Yea..."
"Are you not ready because you're still hooked up on him or hooked up on the pain?" she asked.
"Great question," I snickered to hide the hurt. "Um...Both..." I shrugged.

I felt the sadness in my throat because I wanted to be over it.
I planned on getting over it soon. But rushing it would make it worse. I just hoped it drained itself quickly.

"That's okay. Take however long you need. I wouldn't push you to let it go. I know how happy he made you." she stated.
She walked over and hugged me while I rested my head on her shoulder.

"Why is it so hard?" I whined.
"Because you liked him..." she said as she rubbed my back.
"But why?"
She didn't respond.
"Why did I like him? Why did I like the emotionless man that didn't hold conversations longer than thirty seconds and is a functioning alcoholic?"
"I think that maybe because you feel so heartbroken and you think that Caio guy opened your eyes, you're trying to convince yourself it was your fault. You discussed his traits differently when you two were together, but when you broke up all of a sudden it's all negative."
I sniffed.
"Which isn't fair to yourself. You liked him because he knew how to make you feel better. Because he felt like a safe haven. Because he chose to put in the effort to be nice to you even though he struggled with being nice to others. You liked him because he gave you the impression that he cared. It's okay that you liked him. You didn't like this complete asshole that treated you like shit and spit in your face. He treated you like you were a flower. Don't beat yourself up for it. It's not you falling for him that was wrong, it was why he made you fall for him."

She lifted my face and wiped my tears. "Don't beat yourself up. You deserved to have someone treat you the way that he did at the time. Besides the whole wedding thing. You didn't deserve that part." she scoffed.
I nodded.

"But you also deserved someone who treated you that way because they wanted to, not because they wanted to manipulate you into doing the things they wanted you to do. You just followed your heart. You're not in the wrong. He was."

That made me feel a bit better. She's good at this.

"Are you okay? Do you want me to punch him when I walk into work today?" she offered.
I laughed a bit. "No, it's okay. I don't want you to get fired." Although I'm sure her punch wouldn't phase him anyway.
"If you say so."

"Are you done getting ready for your trip?" I asked to change the subject.
"I don't know. I kind of wanna buy new luggage after packing away a few items."
"I think you should." I agreed.
"Maybe. I'll go shopping tomorrow and see. Wouldn't it be cute if me and Charlie-..." she stopped.
"If you and Charlie what?"
"Nothing..."
I scoffed. "Nikki, you talking about your very healthy and happy relationship with your boyfriend is not going to make me cry myself to sleep. I'm your best friend. I WANT you to be in a perfect relationship."
"We're not perfect..."
"Pretty damn close." I laughed.
She shrugged.
"But yes I do think it would be cute if you and Charlie got matching suitcases."
"How'd you know that was what I was gonna say?"
"I know you. It's been like 15 years. I can read your mind."
She laughed. "Whatever."

"Oh can I borrow-..."
"It's in the top drawer of my bathroom." she answered.
"You don't know what I was gonna say..." I stated.
"My makeup remover, right?"
"Wow..." I walked off to her bathroom as she laughed at me.