More to me- Pregame Saioma

39.See you in hell gurlie

Major tw for murder, but like...the cool kind of murder

"I wanna torture this bitch."

Saihara paused. "Mh...gloves are over there."

"W-Wait! Hold on a second, Kokichi!" She cried out, her shaky voice falling on deaf ears. "Maybe we could t-talk this out? You d-don't need to be so h-hasty...lets just figure this out for a second."

"Mmmmh...no. Won't work on me." I smiled, pulling on the gloves. "I tried talking it out too, once. But you never listened, did you? No. You wouldn't even try."

I grabbed a slightly dull knife and walked over. 

"You know, dull, shitty knives are more painful. Most will go for the sharp, clean knife, but it's so much more fun with a dull one. Knives are used to cut animal meat. A better, high quality knife will glide through all types of material with ease. Shitty knives aren't so merciful. Also, if you never clean a knife, all sorts of fun bacteria can get left on it. The pain of being cut is so much worse when an infection is sprinkled in."

She struggled in her restraints as I approached. Something sinister was in her eyes as she started to speak. "Please Kokichi...just let me  go."

I paused at the phrase. The phrase that I hated so much. The phrase that she only used when she was about to hurt me.

Just let me.

"...What?"

My head suddenly pounded with flashbacks. Repeating, dark, awful flashbacks that shook me to my core. My mind felt like a padded cell where I was forced to remember all those awful things I had tried to repress. Not only all those strangers, not only the one time with my abusive birth father, but all the times where she, herself, had hurt me. Just like that, I felt like I wasn't in my body anymore. 

As if I was watching myself from a different plane, my body moved on it's own. It walked over to the chair where she sat and smiled. 

"You've made a mistake." My voice was quiet, almost a whisper. It didn't need to be any louder. 

I saw her shiver in fear. I started to carve deep gashes into her, slowly, and the numbness went away as I was filled with a sick sense of glee. She was crying, begging me to stop, but I didn't. I couldn't stop, even if I wanted to. I was too overwhelmed by manic giddiness at her pain; I couldn't even think about stopping. There was blood. So much blood. So much, and yet, not enough. Not enough to pay back the blood that poured out of me every time she hurt me.

"You certainly scream loudly, for someone who is miles away from anyone who would help. Is that what you want? Help?" I peered into her eyes, grinning wider. "What a shame. Too bad no one can help you now."

Her screams ringed through my ears. Even as the blood poured from her lips, I could hear her voice bubbling underneath. She might have cut the inside of her throat, but it was more likely that she was vomiting blood from the stab wounds. 

Slowly, she started to quiet down. Her screams were replaced with dull groans and small sniffles of pain. As if she was giving up hope. The thought of her hope draining from her body made me grin. She hurt me. She did this same thing to me. She made my life a living hell. Now she knows how it feels to lose all sense of hope, joy, peace. I won't forgive her. I'll never, ever forgive her.

After what seemed like hours of fun, I saw her eyes start to dim. I stepped back as she slumped forward. I stared at the body, my eyes widening as I realized exactly what I had done. The happiness I had felt earlier had left, and what was left behind was raw, unfettered dread.

"I-Is she...dead?"

Saihara walked over and checked. He grimaced, silent.

The knife clattered on the floor beside me. "O-Oh...oh my- what did I-I... w-why...what..."

"Hey, hey." I felt Saihara's hand on my shoulder, pulling me towards him. I started to shake even more. 

"Look. You're okay. You're fine. I promise, you're gonna be fine. You're gonna be okay. Just take a deep breath. Here, I'll take one with you, okay? In...hold it... and out. Good, good. In...hold it...and out. You're doing so well, dear."

After a while, I stopped shaking. Once again, I felt that post-episode numbness that I hated so much. Saihara smiled at me, his hand lifting my chin so that I stared into his eyes. 

"Are you feeling any better?"

"...mmhm..." My response was nothing but a quiet noise and a nuzzle, but he seemed to get it. 

"Let's go back upstairs, okay?"

"W-What are you gonna d-do with her?"

"Eh, dispose of the body. Message her employer and pretend like she had to quit because she moved out of town."

"I...I'm sorry."

"What are you apologizing for?"

"F-For taking away y-your fun...and letting you see t-that side of me...and m-making you deal with my mess...a-and-"

Saihara kissed me on the forehead. "You don't have to worry about any of that. Any side of you is still you. And, hell. I feel like you needed that much more than I did."

"Shumai...I love you."

"I love you too, Kichi-senpai. You should wash up, kay?"

I nodded as he picked me up and carried my up the stairs and to the shower. He smiled as he placed me on the sink and ran a bubble bath. I took off my bloodstained clothes, my weak hands shaking, and he set me in the warm water. My fingernails dug into my arms as I hugged myself. He scrubbed away the blood with a bath pouf.

Saihara was still smiling gently as he whispered to me. "My violet...what happened downstairs wasn't a bad thing. You were simply delivering karma. It's alright...you're alright. Everything is going to be alright."

My eyes drifted over to him. 

"I'm sure Koma is up; he never gets any decent sleep. I'll ask him to make you some hot cocoa. You must be dehydrated..." I felt his lips on my forehead. "Stay here, love."

He left the room, and I gazed into the water. My reflection glared back at me, as if to say, "You've really done it now. Shumai won't be able to save you. They're after you. They know what you did. Might as well hold your head under the water while you have a choice. You won't have to leave that way."

I stared into the water, too numb to be shocked. "I don't want to hurt Shumai like that..." I muttered.

The boy in the water laughed. "Please, as if he actually loves you now. He watched you as you drained the life out of your only caretaker. And now he has to hide a body because of your incompetence. It won't help, anyway. I bet they'll bring back the death penalty just for you, you worthless slut. Come down here and meet me. I can't wait to get my hands on you."

I shook my head meekly. "...No thanks..."

"Fine."  He pouted. "Come back to me when you're ready."

"Kichi?" I saw Saihara's head peak out from behind the door. "Who are you talking to?"

My eyes drifted back to the boy in the water. He smirked and winked, before making a cold, traumatized face. The face that I knew was my own. "...No one."

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