Can't Get Out | Ryeji

Chapter 39

YEJI

I couldn't believe it and was arguing with myself whether it was just another illusion brought on by my longing for her. But then, when she took a step forward, that's when I realize it's real. She's here. 

She was about to take a step forward, but I'm not sure why. Everything in me became weak and I took a step backward without even realizing it.

"Yeji.."

I can't look at her. Most especially, her eyes.

To be honest, I was stunned and I don't know if it's in a bad way or good way but I'm sure it doesn't feel so right.

There's something inside me that was mad. 

I'm relieved that she's in front of me. 

But the feeling wasn't what I expected it to be. 

Happy? Maybe, but not so. 

Angry? Maybe? I also do not know.

It's funny how earlier my thoughts were full of sadness about missing her but seeing her in front of me right now gave me a roller coaster of emotions in a snap. 

I can't seem to figure it out.

"I'm sorry.." She uttered but she was stuttering. 

Again, I didn't know but I laughed sarcastically. 

What is she even sorry for?

With my actions that showed weakness, I felt how Ryujin slowly step towards me. 

"Don't."

But knowing Ryujin, she was stubborn. She still tried to come close. 

"Can you.. can you please give me time first? Alone?"

"Sorry.."

I know she mean it. I felt the sincerity.

"For?"

She did not answer. She looked down, can't bring herself to speak with my sudden reply. 

"Do me a favor and please give me some time alone first." I managed to say. 

My heart was aching despite seeing the person I love after two years without communication. 

With what I said, she didn't speak any more words. Instead, she took a small paper and wrote something on it. 

"Here's my number.. if you want to talk or anything.." She said and placed the small paper beside me. "Can I come close?"

I didn't answer. I can't even look at her. 

"Just once.." She pleaded but I still didn't gave her an answer or a nod.

I didn't decline, so she moved forward carefully, trying to figure out if I was going to stop her. And, of course, despite my conflicted emotions right now, there was still a longing for her inside of me.

She cupped my face with trembling hands just like mine and planted a kiss on my forehead, and as I closed my eyes when she did it, a tear fell from my eyes, and I couldn't hold the lump in my throat any longer.

"I'm really sorry." She said as she walked away with tears in her eyes that she tried to wipe away.

My knees weakened after she left, leading me to collapse and fall. That's when the tears I'd been attempting to hold back began to flow uncontrollably.

After a long time of crying, I settled on the living room and was spacing out. It was already night time and I texted Woohyun to leave already since I'll stay here.