Can't Get Out | Ryeji

Chapter 38

YEJI

Two months turned to five months without Ryujin. 

It was normal for other people. They went on, replaced Ryujin at her job, and it was as if she was just another person who used to work here in a snap. A notable employee who was subject to numerous successful projects.

I stopped texting her every day but I text her from time to time. 

I got tired. It was frustrating. I was mad at her at the same time I wanted to understand her. 

Maybe she has her reasons. 

Maybe she's okay. 

Maybe she's just far away with her family. 

But the fact that I don't even know where she is made me worried and angry. 

Is it that hard to at least text me or message me on any social media platform?

A simple 'I'm here.' or 'I'm still alive.' will do but no. She did not do it. 

Even Chaeryeong doesn't know where her location is. 

It's like we've been cut off from her life. 

Trying to find her was also a failure for me. Seoul was the place where we met and the only possible place I could think of is the place where we watched the city lights. I go there every day but she didn't showed up. Even once.

The process repeats itself until I realize it's been five months since I last saw Ryujin, and it continues until there's been a year without any trace of her.

It was hard.

But for others, as the year passed by, they eventually stopped looking for Ryujin. They stopped talking about Ryujin unless they remember a thing about her.

But it wasn't the case for me.

She was my lover and I was hers.

How could I even forget when it didn't have a proper closure?

Did we even break up?

It wasn't clear.

Did she ghosted me? Maybe.

All of her accounts were deactivated so it basically means she cut us off.

It hurt.

But the one year of longing for her was nothing to compare with the almost three months we dated. It meant a lot to me, perhaps even more than what the word "forever" means to other people.

So I still waited.

Texted her from time to time praying for her to reply.

Not until the number was already used by a stranger I do not know that I had to give up texting it.

Again, it hurt.

But I still tried to look for her.

I go to her hometown once a month and asked if they came back.

I go alone most of the time, sometimes, Chaeryeong will go with me. But answers were the same every time.

'No.'

'How many times are you going to go back here?'

'Just stop looking for her. It's obvious she's not coming back.'

But of course I didn't stop. I was desperate.

Yet, there was also a lot of changes in my life since after a year and three months, I decided to go back to my parents house.