Can I just be alright for a little while?

11. Modern day Cinderella

I turned on the TV and because I already knew that there wasn't anything to watch anyway, I voluntarily put on the Nickelodeon and SpongeBob. It was just weird how something like that was the only thing I could watch even tho it didn't make sense at all. Jay just laughed over my choice and kept throwing fries into his mouth. I followed his actions for a moment before I leaned closer to him and took a bite of the French fry which he was holding between his lips. I don't know exactly why I did that or what I was even trying to do. But our eyes were locked to each other's and while biting the fried potato shorter and shorter, the closer our lips got. Before they gently touched for a moment. It wasn't a kiss and I slowly pulled away after that happened. He didn't say a word and neither did I. The only one making some sound was the beloved yellow sponge.

It was getting late and I had to be at work at ten. Jay was already yawning and I looked at the huge clock I had on the wall which was pointing midnight. And there came the weird feeling again. I was enjoying his company too much and I wanted more. I'm sure he knew how badly I had been eating him with my eyes the past hours and what ever that fry thing was, for sure gave him all the hints.

"I should go.. "he woke me up from another fantasy.

"Or you can stay.." I whispered not even realizing I had said it out loud.

"I mean.. If you don't have anything else planned or someone waiting.." I quickly added so I wouldn't sound so needy. But I was indeed needy as hell and I was so close to just jump on him. Jay looked me and I could feel that he was reading all the expressions from my face that I was wearing even tho I tried so hard to hide them.

"I'll take shower after you" he then said, stood up and collected the brown paperbags. I blinked my eyes for few times to progress his answer and then I also stood up and made my way to the bathroom.

While waiting Jay in the bed I tried to calm my thoughts down but it was difficult for several reasons. Firstly because my over active slash messed up state of mind that kept creating imagines of Jay and his hot body and secondly because he obviously seemed to know what was going on in my head and he is not making the situation any easier by letting me do what I do. Also what he said earlier, that even if something happened, it won't change a thing between us. What the hell did he mean with that? Fuck. Should I just have sex with him and see if it changes things or not? The fuck I am supposed to do? And then there is Joel. Fuck. The worst part is that I had to somehow apologize him for what he has witnessed, like I don't know. Buy him beer or stuff. He didn't need to be included in this emotional circus and honestly I even felt bad that he has seen what he has. Especially my fucked up drunk night. He sure has enough drama and shit in his life if he was who he was.

"Still awake?"Jay walked into the room, only in boxers. God damn... Why he has to be so hot?

"Yeah..." I sighed and shut down the light next to me. Jay laid next to me and again, with one smooth movement I was pulled against his body. This time a silent sigh escaped from my lips as our bodies touched and that caused Jay to chuckle quietly. God he sounded sexy like that...What is going on?

"Turn around..."he whispered and I did. He pressed his body tightly against mine so I could feel each muscle against my back, even through the fabric of my shirt. His hand was once again wrapped over me and rested on my side. My breath wasn't as steady as it should be and it got even more irregular as I felt his fingers playing with the edge of my shirt. But my body reacted to it and again it got so hot. Was he enjoying this? Knowing that I was in this state where I could just give myself to him just like that? Or was he doing this because he also had these thoughts? I don't know and my brain function wasn't too sharp at the moment to figure it out either. His fingers had already made their way on my stomach from where they were now moving upwards. I closed my eyes. Wasn't this exactly what I had been thinking the past days? How smoothly his hands would move on my body? Well, smoothly and it felt so fucking good. The hand was getting closer to my boobs but I still wasn't sure should I let it happen or stop him. I didn't know. And then the hand started to move back down. Slowly. Until it stopped on the edge of my panties. Yes I enjoyed it. And yes I wanted him to touch me. But I couldn't get the words out my mouth and honestly I didn't even know how to tell it to him. His fingers played with the edge of the clothing and I felt his breath getting heavier now too. And the hand moved back on my side. I wasn't sure was I relieved or crying inside because I wanted to be touched. But maybe it was better this way.