The cover in itself was not at all attractive. It was poorly edited to say the least. The font doesn’t go well with the rest of the cover and the filter of the graphic makes it hard to see the texts. The title should’ve have a better placement plan and should’ve also been centralized. All the texts you gave at the bottom of the cover were barely visible, and again, aren’t centralized. Also, you could’ve cut down on the stocks you used. Either that, or you execute it properly.
Title: 02/05
The title could definitely be better. Something that could suit the book more.
Synopsis: 2.5/10
The synopsis as whole, wasn’t good enough, it doesn’t have enough body to give insight into the book or its characters. There were errors in the sentence constructions too. For instance, in the line ‘She is humiliated every day. Neither love nor respect,’ the sentences need not be separated. You could just join them using an em dash. So it would be something like this: ‘She is humiliated every day— neither loved nor respected.’
Moreover, the synopsis didn’t really make me want to read the book.
Execution: 02/10
The execution of the book in whole was very poor. From the synopsis, to the plot, to the writing style. Just everything. You should avoid inserting pictures whilst a chapter goes on. If you do have to insert images, keep them for the very end of the chapter. Inserting them here and there ruins the flow.
Plot: 17/20
The plot wasn’t something to ‘wow’ at, and what was there of it wasn’t executed the right way. The pace was a bit fast if you ask me. You could’ve made it a bit more realistic too.
There’s this part in the fifth chapter, where the female lead goes like ‘fine me the nearest orphanage. I want to give those kids cool gifts.’ Honestly, I found this rude. Of course, it could’ve been unintentional from your side but, the way you presented the sentence made it seem like orphans a poor, needy ‘kids’, which they most definitely are not. There were many such ideas in the book that came off the wrong way and were misleading.
Writing Style: 05/20
The writing style was very amateur. It was bland and seemed like something a fifth reader would write in her personal journal. I don’t know how else to explain it . . .
At some points, there were a lot of unnecessary details and at some other points, there were no necessary details provided. You need to work on your descriptive writing by loads.
As of now, you do not have that ‘way’ with words. Everything is just mundane and straight forward.
Grammar & Vocabulary: 06/20
There were plenty of errors in the grammar and punctuations. Starting off with the grammar, it’s mostly the tenses. If you decide to write in past tense, you might as well stick to it. Switching between past tense and present tense is both grammatically incorrect as well as confusing.
Moving on to punctuations, you have loads to improve. You cut down on full stops— which, needless to be said, is grammatically incorrect. Then, you do not use commas when needed; instead, you use them wherever they aren’t needed. You should also avoid using extra punctuations like exclamation points and question marks.
In dialogues, you are to use a comma instead of a full stop, if the sentence isn’t completed yet (that is, if it’s further continued in the form of narration). This especially applies to action tags. You got it right at some points.
There’re rules for using bold tags and italics, too. You might want to pay attention to that. You can just use italics to put emphasis on a word- bold tags are to take that emphasis to its next degree, which I think is unnecessary considering the points where you’ve used them. Also, you cannot use italics for dialogues.
Moving onto the vocabulary, it was average— maybe even lesser. This is self-explanatory. All the terms used were too simple and came off as bland.
Characters & Development: 03/10
The characters didn’t really have a fixed personality— especially the father. One moment he’s slapping the kid for not taking care of her brother, and the next moment he’s holding her a toast? I mean, yeah I get it, he was after his company and the profits, but you could’ve made them a bit realistic to say the least. The development was lagged up too.
Total: 36/100
Final Note: First off, please do not get discouraged or demotivated sue to anything I mentioned above. Keep an open mind and work towards improving the flaws. Don’t hesitate to hit me up if you have any doubts regarding the review. I hope I helped you.
Oops! Bu görüntü içerik kurallarımıza uymuyor. Yayımlamaya devam etmek için görüntüyü kaldırmayı ya da başka bir görüntü yüklemeyi deneyin.
