The title looks too dark and congested, it will be better if you either change the font or remove the border.
Title: 03/05
Nothing extremely new or out of the box yet it does it's work just fine. I would love to see more creative titles since the current one doesn't give any hints about the plot.
Synopsis: 01/10
Poorly written and extremely short. Also, the sentence could be fixed into: 'Can the happiest moments of your life turn into your most painful memories?'
It lacks descriptions, usually when a reader reads the blurb they seek attention for the details, either about the characters or the major plotline, your blurb lacks both of them. Do include a few essentially dialogues from your book in the blurb as well. Make it short and descriptive, tell us about an important moment between the leads or just what the story is about.
Execution: 05/10
I'm not sure if the book was well executed, there were moments when I couldn't grasp the plot and it's still confusing. The chapters are long so you need to make sure that they are interesting enough. Also, up until 5 chapters nothing much happened, I don't mean to tell you to reveal everything together but have enough time skips and changes or scenarios whenever possible. However, the story did feel a little slow paced to me.
Plot: 07/20
Again I couldn't find anything much interesting other than the y/n's past story and the voids it has for maintaining the suspense. I also observed two more incidents, one is y/n's friend looking scared or frightened when y/n gets to know about Jimin and second is Jungkook's odd behavior. If these are left unexplained to maintain suspense then I would suggest you to drop a few more hints to keep the readers hooked up and to avoid the book from getting dry and boring.
Writing Style: 05/20
The grammatical errors keep me from having a good read. Also, there are major sentence formation errors where I have to end up reading the sentence again to understand it. The sentences look computerized, no offense. You are probably using any apk to restructure the sentences or simply not having any proofreads. Try to read your descriptions/ sentences out loud once and you will probably figure out that there's something wrong with it.
Grammar & Vocabulary: 05/20
Your characters introduction chapter is full of errors, there are too many of them. If you aren't sure about what mistakes you made then just download google docs, paste your whole chapter in a new doc and save it, the doc will automatically detect major grammatical errors and you can fix it just by tapping on the underlined words.
Tenses
You used the wrong tense or skipped the tense from present to past too often. Try to maintain the same tense either throughout the book or throughout the chapter.
2. Major typo's- you need to read and edit out the random typing mistakes.
ex: even his handsome :: even he is handsome
3. Pronoun errors
ex: let's say she's doing her best to act cute so he can convince Jungkook
Why did she suddenly become he? And somewhere around the first chapter you used 'his dad and her brother' instead of 'her dad and her brother'
4. Sentence formation errors
For this just reconstruct a few of your odd sounding sentences and phrases. Note that I don't mean your whole book has this issue, but few are found at random descriptions and dialogue.
Characters & Development: 03/10
Jungkook getting a little better with his behavior and y/n actually reacting to stuff is the only character development till now, nothing major but I hope they go through enough character development in the chapters ahead.
Total: 32/100
Final Note: Edit your description, it needs a lot of improvement and so does the characters introduction chapter. Do rewrite or proofread the rest of the 5 chapters since they aren't too many to take long to edit or just seek help from an editing shop, they can fix the major to minor errors.
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